Thursday, December 31, 2009

napoli pizza

poker chat

timmy0017: u dont get it
timmy0017: im done with this conversation
blitzen_99: no- I won't
timmy0017: yah, you wont get it
blitzen_99: cause you pushed aces after the flop?
timmy0017: i think u are a genius
timmy0017: hitting a 1 outter
timmy0017: had too *** brains
timmy0017: u dont get it
timmy0017: this is obvious
blitzen_99: gl dude
blitzen_99: push aces pre
timmy0017: biggest ***ing luck sack
blitzen_99: not post
timmy0017: u call that
timmy0017: insta call that
timmy0017: pre
timmy0017: so same result
blitzen_99: me?
blitzen_99: naw
timmy0017: even worse for me to see it
timmy0017: ur a ****** then
timmy0017: and wont win
timmy0017: u fold 1010
timmy0017: u will lose
timmy0017: simple
blitzen_99: I hope you get aces three more times
timmy0017: me too
blitzen_99: you will play them correct maybe once
blitzen_99: and I will have folded
timmy0017: u are delerious
blitzen_99: so- yeah
timmy0017: you have no idea about any poker concepts
blitzen_99: bone up on aces
blitzen_99: email your book
blitzen_99: I need this
timmy0017: dont make me stats ur - profit bud
timmy0017: quite clear
timmy0017: i know u are horrible
blitzen_99: my stats say I **** around and get drunk
timmy0017: dont need to continue exp^laining myself
timmy0017: yah smart
blitzen_99: doesn't mean I won't smoke your pale ***
timmy0017: get drunk and spend money
timmy0017: smart brains
blitzen_99: big dollars
timmy0017: yah
blitzen_99: I live for this
timmy0017: nice life
timmy0017: no kids
timmy0017: no wife
timmy0017: complete loser
blitzen_99: ha- very close
blitzen_99: I have a dog
timmy0017: its fine ghetto boy
timmy0017: keep living the high life
blitzen_99: supa ghetto
timmy0017: u know where its at
timmy0017: get drunk
timmy0017: and spend ur cash
blitzen_99: hitting the club later w/ my chains
timmy0017: ur such a thug
blitzen_99: gangster for life
blitzen_99: done?
timmy0017: its fine
blitzen_99: is this the best tillonsburg has to offer?
timmy0017: u know ill be 40k in 15 minutes
blitzen_99: get kwazy
timmy0017: shhh
timmy0017: its poker time
blitzen_99: k
Dealer: TOP THAT 1, it's your turn. You have 14 seconds to act
Dealer: EddieKGB23 has two pair, Tens and Fours
Dealer: timmy0017 has a pair of Tens
Dealer: Game #37439862478: EddieKGB23 wins pot (6,387) with two pair, Tens and Fours

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

body art

I have a slight impression of a grade school cement playground on the back of my skull.
I don't show this to just any girl.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

karoake bitch

These are my top karaoke songs (if I did karaoke (and if it wasn't a rap fest)):
Lou Rawls - "You'll never find". (I used to sing this all the time to the manager at the vid store I was a bike messenger at in college)
Tom Jones - "It's Not Unusual". (classic)
Johnny Cash - "Burning Ring of Fire". (I think my rendition convinced my wife to marry me)

I nail all of them in my head and I've especially NAILED Tom Jones's dancing.
In fact, I will for now on, dance just like my hip is slightly broken with the Tom Jones stiff swagger. ITS VERY SEXY.

What would be better still (and I don't actually do karaoke to know if anyone's done this) is to stage a fakey karaoke reunion.
The way this works is- one person goes out and starts a song (THAT'S REALLY A CLASSIC DUET).
And then part-way thru and with much fanfare, the other person jumps stage for the duet part halfway thru AS IF it's completely spontaneous.
Think Sonny and Cher reunion w/ "The Beat Goes On".
The audience will weep. If you are Cher ready contact me!! I have a suede 'Bono' jacket but I'll buy a white one if the situation calls for it. I just sort of assume every chic has a pair of white 'kiki' boots.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

lake street part 2

This is still going half speed (because I'm worried about the camera flying off) and there's no traffic at noon. I'll do a full speed rush hour for the big finish. The van/cab gap shoot at the end is nice though- at rush hour you have to do this the whole street which is kinda like riding a gazelle down the middle of a herd of stampeding water buffalo.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

lake street

Trial run. I will shoot his again in some traffic now that I know what works.

van gogh letters

My dear Theo,
I’ve received a letter from Mr E. Dujardin regarding the exhibition of some canvases of mine in his dark hole.1 I find it so disgusting to pay for the planned exhibition with a canvas that in reality there aren’t two answers to this gentleman’s letter. There’s one, and you’ll find it enclosed. Only I’m sending it to you and not to him so that you know my thoughts and so that you can simply tell him that I’ve changed my mind and haven’t the slightest desire to exhibit at this moment. It’s no use at all getting angry with the chap, it’s better to be tritely polite.
So no exhibition at the Revue Indépendante, I make so bold as to believe that Gauguin is of the same opinion. In any case he doesn’t at all urge me to do it.2
We’ve hardly ever exhibited, have we?
There were a few canvases at Tanguy’s place first of all, at Thomas’s and then at Martin’s.3
Now I declare here that I absolutely do not know what useful purpose that even serves, and it would seem to me more just, certainly, that you should simply keep the studies that you liked in your apartment, that you send the others back to me here rolled up, since the apartment is small and if you kept everything they’d clutter it up.
So, without our hurrying I’m preparing the wherewithal here to stage a more serious exhibition.
But as for the Revue Indépendante I’d ask you to put a complete end to it, the opportunity is too good, and you’ll feel that they’re completely mistaken if they imagine I’m going to pay to have myself put on show in such a small, dark and above all scheming hole.
Now with regard to the few canvases at Tanguy’s or Thomas’s place... that’s a matter of such absolute indifference to me that in reality it isn’t worth talking about — but you should know above all that I’m really not at all attached to the idea. 1v:2 I know in advance what I’ll do the moment I have enough canvases. For the moment I’m simply busying myself with making them.
What will please you is that Gauguin has finished his canvas of the women picking grapes,4 it’s as fine as the negresses and if, say, you paid the same price for it as for the negresses (400 I think)5 that would certainly be good too. But naturally you have to choose from all of them, and I haven’t seen the Breton things.6 He’s explained several of them to me, and they must be fine.
I’ve done a rough sketch of a brothel,7 and I’m in fact planning to do a brothel painting.
Gauguin came here on 20 Oct.,8 so we must reckon that he received 50 francs from you last month.
Yes, I think that for the exhibition of my work we must express ourselves clearly. As for you, you’re with the Goupils, you aren’t authorized to do business outside the firm. So since I’m absent I do not exhibit.
I repeat, I’m indifferent as regards Tanguy’s place, provided Tanguy is fully aware that he has no right over my canvases, none.
So, my position is clear at least, which isn’t a matter of absolute indifference to me. With a little more work I’ll have sufficient not to need to exhibit at all any more, that’s what I’m aiming at. 1v:3
I myself have also finished a canvas of a vineyard, all purple and yellow with little blue and violet figures and a yellow sun.9
I think you’ll be able to place this canvas next to Monticelli’s landscapes.
I’m going to set myself to work often from memory, and the canvases done from memory are always less awkward and have a more artistic look than the studies from nature, especially when I’m working in mistral conditions.
I don’t think I’ve yet told you that Milliet has left for Africa. He has a study of mine for troubling to take the canvases to Paris10 and Gauguin gave him a little drawing in exchange for an illustrated edition of Madame Chrysanthème.11 I’ve still not received the exchanges from Pont-Aven, but Gauguin assures me that the canvases were done.
The weather’s windy and rainy here, and I’m very happy not to be alone, I work from memory on bad days, and that wouldn’t work if I were alone.
Gauguin has also almost finished his night café.12 He makes a really interesting friend — I must tell you that he knows how to cook perfectly, I think that I’ll learn that from him, it’s really convenient.
We’re very satisfied with making frames with simple strips of wood nailed on the stretching frame and painted, which I’ve started doing.13

[sketch A]

Do you know that Gauguin is partly the inventor of the white frame? But the frame made from four strips of wood nailed on the stretching frame costs 5 sous, 1r:4 and we’re certainly going to perfect it. It serves very well, since this frame doesn’t stick out at all and is one with the canvas.
More soon, I shake your hand firmly and send my regards to the Dutchmen.14

Ever yours,

Gauguin sends his warm regards, and asks you to keep back from the price of the first painting you sell the amount necessary for the stretching frames, which he wants with keys, and also what Bernard will ask from you for a commission he gave him.15


Friday, October 30, 2009

easy questions

If I could be anywhere right now?
i would use the opportunity to go into outer space.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

marathon man

"Most mammals can sprint faster than humans — having four legs gives them the advantage. But when it comes to long distances, humans can outrun almost any animal. Because we cool by sweating rather than panting, we can stay cool at speeds and distances that would overheat other animals. On a hot day, the two scientists wrote, a human could even outrun a horse in a 26.2-mile marathon.

Why would evolution favor the distance runner? The prevailing theory is that endurance running allowed primitive humans to incorporate meat into their diet. They may have watched the sky for scavenging birds and then run long distances to reach a fresh kill and steal the meat from whatever animal was there first.

Other research suggests that before the development of slingshots or bows, early hunters engaged in persistence hunting, chasing an animal for hours until it overheated, making it easy to kill at close range. A 2006 report in the journal Current Anthropology documents persistence hunting among modern hunter-gatherers, including the Bushmen in Africa."

It's sort of like humans evolved because they were hairless sweaty conniving sneaky bastards?


Thursday, October 1, 2009

weekly reflections

Somebody who had a great impact on my life was my Aunt Theresa. To say she was an amazing artist would be an understatement. She loved to create all forms of art (paintings, sculptures, and jewelry were among her favorites). One of the reasons I looked up to her was because I admired her artistic skill, and art had always been a big part of my life as well. She was an excellent teacher and she was always more than happy to help me with any art project I was working on when I saw her.

Another reason I really looked up to Aunt Theresa was she always had a positive attitude. No matter how she was feeling or what was going on in her life, she always had a smile on her face. She also was quite the storyteller. Anybody who met her would tell you she tells stories like nobody else. When she sat down to begin one of her famous stories, you knew it was going to be good and you would probably be in stitches because of her good humor.

Sadly, Aunt Theresa had to battle severe bouts of cancer. Despite these constant troubles, she kept going and viewed everyday as a gift. It always amazed me that somebody plagued with so many illnesses and pains could be so happy with the simple fact that they are alive for another day with loved ones and family. It is this simplicity and strength that kept her going. About a year ago, however, she passed away from terminal cancer. Not only was she a great example on how to live life, but she also showed how to die gracefully. She died with the peace of Jesus because she always believed in His promise to save even in the darkest hours. My Aunt Theresa will be forever missed and loved. I am glad to say that I knew her and even more glad to say that she is a wonderful role model.

This killed me...
I love that my mom's niece appreciated those stories as much as I did.
Storytelling was HUGE in our family. Irish storytelling at it's best and my mom had STORIES.

I'm not sure this is unique to myself but, I always viewed my mother as sort of mean- but mean in a mother kinda way, or what I like to call Irish mean. Which is not that dissimilar to a Jewish mother (or Indian or Asian) or probably any generalization
of someone who cares about you enough to be brutally honest and make judgements against you that are not always pretty.
I can see the importance of this now as I deal with a teenager previously raised in a hippy manner (people don't know this but I was a hippy first and foremost- and my wife (INSANELY HIPPY)), were anything is ok and "I trust you to make good choices".
I now see the importance of registering a moral guilt complex. Some type of rudder that says certain things are not acceptable. Decisions have huge consequences. There is a norm that even if you don't support, you do need to go with the flow or you will be crushed. I'm not so sure the methods employed were 100% successful in my case as I'm undeniably OCD neurotic myself. I am, however, a completely moral person that's insanely driven and I will not let a dish sit for more than day. And that didn't require any religion!

So, I do have new appreciation for my mother every day, and of course I miss those stories now more than ever, even if when I heard them for the 3rd/100th time I may have been drifting... I could still love the storyteller.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009

chutes and ladders

"The Red Book had an undeniable beauty. Its colors seemed almost to pulse, its writing almost to crawl. Shamdasani’s relief was palpable, as was Hoerni’s anxiety. Everyone in the room seemed frozen in a kind of awe, especially Stephen Martin, who stood about eight feet away from the book but then finally, after a few minutes, began to inch closer to it. When the art director called for a break, Martin leaned in, tilting his head to read some of the German on the page. Whether he understood it or not, he didn’t say. He only looked up and smiled."

Carl Jung's Red Book

My red book would contain mostly drawings of ladders leading to really high places I can't get down from.

Friday, September 18, 2009

cosmological doomesday

“I personally think that the emergence of perpetual motion in a theory may pose a difficulty for the theory, since this leads to infinite concentration of energy in some regions of space, which is dangerous,” Ivanov said. “Also, quite subjectively, I dislike the theories operating with fluids violating the weak energy condition; they contradict to my aesthetic feeling. Of course, this quite subjective point of view may or may not be correct.”


Friday, August 7, 2009


I'm all alone on the internet tonight. It's like a dark street in your old home town.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Friday, July 31, 2009


Me: I'm high functioning today with a clarity that's been lacking lately

Me: if you have any questions about life or the mysterious things I can probably answer them

Dawn: Ha

Dawn: ...REDACTED...

much back and forth redactioning...

Me: I thought I was going to get a math question???

Friday, July 10, 2009

Friday, July 3, 2009


Some new neighbors moved in and they were nice. Her name is Jackey and he's Mike.
Sooo friendly, and sooo much furniture. Where will they walk???
It made me wonder (meeting these fresh faced innocents) how much about the hood they are familiar with?
Do you like the sound of truck horns at 5AM?
How about throbbing disco fuck at 2AM?
Screaming losers trying to remember how to hail a cab and where they live at 3AM?
Yes- I'm talking about the same night! Are you familiar with these things? Huh? Are you?
I think not.

This is the land of sound sleepers. INSOMNIACS. Drunks (hello), potheads (hello again- have we met?) and pillow warriors.
Are you of this mettle?

Oh, and the smells...

Do you know what hoof smells like?
Kidding- there's no hoof smells, it's more like grandma in the attic than anything else.
Are you shocked by blood? Do great steaming trucks of animal goo give you pause?
Have you ever seen a person put a pig carcass in a trunk?
Has your dog ever snapped up a strange piece of red something pulp when you were not paying attention?
I think not my new friends. I think not...

Then... later... I think about my own situation. And how I really SHOULD move. More space, A GARDEN and maybe cheaper rent (ha- Pilsen???). But, for sure I'm trapped. This place is in my un-ground up bones now. Seeped into the sinewy flesh still attached to those bones. I just can't picture moving. EVER. The Saturday mornings when they bring out the power washers and the streets smell like bleach. Ahh, sooo nice. Smells like victory or a really clean bathtub or something. The familiar wave of the one meat packing guy I know (although we never talk- we just wave, this is somehow enough). I won't forget this ever.

This doesn't mean I won't complain or wear my suffering like a badge. And even if I did make it out of here (god willing), I picture myself being pulled back from time to time, hanging around like some lurking pallet wrangler or semi jockey (I'm not really sure what these guys do?). Just checking out the action. Cause I ALWAYS need the action.

I did not tell the neighbors this...


Al Qaeda (or more likely Iranian special agents) killed Michael Jackson.
This is obvious to most of us in the intelligence community. We just can't say it because it would devastate the populace.

(KIDDING- I joke but, seriously check it out. Ha, I'm still joking. Someone's looking into this right?)

Monday, June 29, 2009

the next big thing

Designers/programmers please read (chicagoland)

Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-29, 9:01AM CDT

I have what I believe is the next big thing with all these social networking sites. I understand the trend and see the future. I have a can't miss idea that I need help to develop. I have all the basics down and need help to build it. This would be the type of site that a major company would buy for alot of money. If your capable and want to hear what I have come up with and then decide for yourself, please leave me contact information.
I am willing to develop a partnership with the right people.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


I have this tic.
When I'm dealing with service people and I ask for something my brain does a weird shorthand for 'thank you'. I actually state my request with a closing wink.
"Can I get that double bagged?" ...wink.
"could you give me the check?" ...wink.
I know this is weird but, at this point it's very hard to break and IT IS effective.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

sartorial conundrums

Q: I’ve been eyeing a Greek fisherman’s cap for a while, but I’m worried it’ll look silly. Is it possible to wear one without looking like a Greek fisherman?

A: If you’re a poet, a photographer, or a choreographer, people expect you to demonstrate a certain peculiarity. You can smoke a pipe or roll your own. You can wear a scarf in fair weather. You can sport a walking stick or wear Mongolian wrestler boots or a dashiki. Or you can resort to bohemian headgear, which does the job even in California, where one is often seen in a car and so “flair” items work best when visible from the shoulders up. The Greek fisherman’s cap is more casual than a bowler, conjures less scary associations than a Bavarian alpine hat, and looks less silly than a tam. And of course, there was no Greek fisherman in the Village People. Can you pull it off? If you try one and look like Harry Potter incognito, you might need to add several days of beard and an Isle of Skye sweater, huaraches, or other oddish accessories for street cred.

Actually- the correct answer is NO. Unless there is a net in your hand you cannot wear a greek fishermans hat. Also NO, you CAN'T wear a scarf, HR Puffinstuff stole that right a LONG time ago and Harry Potter cemented it (unless you're Johnny Depp!).
Also unacceptable:
Leg warmers (on anybody).
Cute rainboots (on anybody).
Layered undershirts.
A pipe.
Shoes that have toes that curl.
Big sunglasses (unless you are Aristotle Onasis!).
White pants (unless you are Bing Crosby or drunk).

Saturday, June 20, 2009

kill myself now

Sometimes I get really bored, and I've read most of the internet.
So, I do something lame like visit 'Classmates' to see if anyone from the class of 82' has cured cancer or anything.

Anyway- they have this list up (which I'm sure they have for everyone).
"The Soundtrack for the Class of 82'".
Which is this list of music I"VE NEVER SEEN IN MY LIFE:

`65 Love Affair
Paul Davis
867-5309 (Jenny)
Tommy Tutone
Steve Miller Band
Always On My Mind
Willie Nelson
Caught Up In You
38 Special
J. Geils Band
Chariots Of Fire
Cool Night
Paul Davis
Do You Believe In Love
Huey Lewis and The News
Don`t Talk To Strangers
Rick Springfield
Don`t You Want M
Human League
Ebony And Ivory
Paul McCartney and Stevie...
Even The Nights Are Bette...
Air Supply
Eye In The Sky
Alan Parsons Project
Eye Of The Tiger
J. Geils Band
Hard To Say I`m Sorry
Harden My Heart
Heat Of The Moment
Hold Me
Fleetwood Mac
Hooked On Classics
Royal Philharmonic Orches...
Hurts So Good
John Cougar
I Can`t Go For That
Daryl Hall and John Oates
I Love Rock N` Roll
Joan Jett and The Blackhe...
I`ve Never Been To Me
Jack And Diane
John Cougar
Keep The Fire Burnin`
REO Speedwagon
Key Largo
Bertie Higgins
Leader Of The Band
Dan Fogelberg
Leather And Lace
Stevie Nicks and Don Henl...
Let It Whip
Dazz Band
Let`s Groove
Earth, Wind and Fire
Love In The First Degree
Love Is In Control
Donna Summer
Love`s Been A Little Bit ...
Juice Newton
Making Love
Roberta Flack
Only The Lonely
Open Arms
Pac-man Fever
Buckner and Garcia
Karla Bonoff
Olivia Newton-John
Private Eyes
Daryl Hall and John Oates
Shake It Up
Sweet Dreams
Air Supply
Tainted Love
Soft Cell
Take It Easy On Me
Little River Band
That Girl
Stevie Wonder
The Other Woman
Ray Parker Jr.
The Sweetest Thing
Juice Newton
Think I`m In Love
Eddie Money
Lindsey Buckingham
Turn Your Love Around
George Benson
Waiting For A Girl Like Y...
Wasted On The Way
Crosby, Stills and Nash
We Got The Beat
Who Can It Be Now?
Men At Work
Why Do Fools Fall In Love...
Diana Ross
You Should Hear How She T...
Melissa Manchester
Young Turks
Rod Stewart

here we go magic - fangela

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

lake street blues

Most days I walk my dog on Lake street. It may be more familiar to everyone else as every car scene in every bat man movie. The reality is more mundane. It's a really loud street (L-train!). I cannot take calls when I walk my dog (if I got calls). It's also a favorite street for taggers which, I find pretty annoying. Not that I own property around here but, losers with acid markers and spray cans basically fucking up the local flavor is really annoying. But, this is not my point. The wierdest thing about Lake street is the death knell it is for speeding cars. About once every few weeks, I'll see the remnants of a tragic car accident. Everything (well, MOSTLY the car) is cleaned up by then but the subtle clues of a car hitting an I beam or, luckily just missing an I beam (which by the way typically splits your car in half) and hitting the obligatory wall just beyond, are still there for you to stand around and ponder. So, Zoe gets to poop while I measure tire skid marks and think about the more pressing aspects of living on this planet.

Which is all mote- because when I mention this to my friend Dawn, (the latest insane accident I'm investigating) she sends this (note- Dawn is great photog and this should not count agianst her record). Who wipes out a car on Lake Shore Drive like that???

anxiety tribe

A long time ago I registered at this site because, YES I have anxiety and I was curious who else would be on a site like that (people with cats?).
Now I get email messages once in blue moon that say "You have a new message from love20".
Which, when I go to the site there is NO message from 'love20'???
This causes much anxiety (not really).
It is annoying though.
Not as annoying as 'whendoesthefuckingstart' not actually having a message for me...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

nobody does it better

You don't really think of Thom Yorke as a singer and this is not a song I would pull off a karaoke machine so, it's impressive how much he owns it.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

volcanic winters

RandomLunatic 8:07 AM When I'm trudging across the arctic wastes of Texas during the next volcanically-induced worldwide winter, fighting off a supercharged case of H1N1 as my pack dogs die around me, this is what I will remember.

princeCapsaicin 8:58 AM
@RandomLunatic: What's a good breed for a volcanic winter? I have a Wirefox that's pretty good at tracking rodents but my tent is only rated three seasons.

Motoko Kusanagi 9:07 AM
@princeCapsaicin: You want a barkless breed, because your biggest issue will be the zombie mobs.

The Lone Scout 9:25 AM
@Motoko Kusanagi: Well, I beg to differ--the first rule is "stay warm, stay dry," so I recommend a sleeping bag liner and an insulated ground pad, since his tent is only three-season. Anyway, if RandomLunatic uses common sense and hangs his food in a bear bag 150 feet from his tent, he probably won't have to worry about zombies.

RandomLunatic 9:27 AM
@The Lone Scout: I ALWAYS worry about zombies.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

my sister eileen on martha stuart blog

I wanted to tell you about a very unique food market that has just celebrated its grand opening. Table Local Market, located in Bedford Hills, New York, has a mission to sell artisanal quality goods from the regional area. The produce, meat and poultry, cheeses, dairy products, and breads are all from sources as local as possible and as organic as possible. Founder and CEO, Cynthia Brennan is passionate about this project. She and her management team, including Jonathan Pratt - Executive Chef, Eileen Zidi - Manager, and Jennifer Anderson - CFO have set this market up as a food co-op, where customers can become members. It's a wonderful concept of Community Supported Agriculture where a community is working with regional and sustainable farmers, encouraging them to provide the healthiest foods possible.

See here (I'm not lying).
My sister is amazing!!!

apache vs gladiator

No clue why this intrigued me so much.
Not giving anything away but, the Apache dude in this vid REALLY BUGS.
Dude- your an Apache. Have some humility.
Next up is Spartan vs Ninja.

Sunday, April 19, 2009


I've lived with a few sleepyheads. Personaly, unless I'm really trashed, I can't sleep later than about 9AM. I start to get stressed after that point which, may have something to do with 9AM being about the time my mother would begin to scream through the heating duct from her room upstairs 'GET UP'. Repeated until unbearable.
Nowadays I worry about things like being the last one who missed all the news alerts and warnings because he was sleeping and the last bus out of 'Children of Men' country left an hour ago.

Lastly- if you ever find yourself grooving to techno like this, please make sure you don't resemble a perpetual water drinking bird.

Friday, April 10, 2009

somali pirate radio

I kind of picture the pirates before they were actual pirates and more like just a bunch of wasted dudes sitting around going, "I don't know man, what do you want to do?".
And then one of them goes- "Hey dude, does your cousin still have that skiff?".
Because I've done some weird shit myself in that state of mind...

Saturday, April 4, 2009

get goodness

Zac Says:

April 1, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Seriously. Thank God somebody thought of this.

Additionally, if you guys just want to send me an e-mail, I’ll tell you whether or not something is good.

Not as robust as an API, but I’m up pretty late and check my e-mail pretty often.

It would be quick too. If you say “Is Neko Case good?” I’ll say “Hell yeah” but if you ask “Is Deerhoof good?” I’d say “Not many sane people like them, but you could give it a shot.”

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Not a real vid but really good anyway.


The thing about fixing a broken cig with scotch tape is remembering that you fixed the cig with scotch tape.

mood: crampy

I've narrowed the source of my (Sunday onset) food poisoning to these suspects:

(timeline- early Friday evening)
I knew a 10oz bag for $2 was too good to be true (I bought 2!- I ate one whole bag on Friday. I know- so gluttony).

Tequila Lime Salsa (Pace)
(Timeline- really late Friday with some whiskey and frozen buritos, zuked about 3AM)
It was pretty old (6 weeks?)- and I get a bit nauseous just thinking about it.

Chineese food-
(timeline- Saturday afternoon)
Oh no's, not my favorite Chineese place (I refuse to believe it).



Thank you for contacting Wonderful concerning pistachios processed and packaged by Paramount Farms.

The FDA has announced a nationwide voluntary recall of pistachios from Setton Farms cautioning consumers to avoid eating pistachios until further notice. Paramount Farms is not part of this recall, and we believe our products are safe. We have stringent quality control procedures in place, and our products consistently exceed USDA specifications.

We are committed to producing only the highest quality products and the health and well-being of consumers who enjoy our pistachios is our foremost concern. Consistent with this commitment and in light of the current situation, we are testing all products in our inventory and are committed to testing all pistachio shipments going forward as a further precautionary measure.

For more information about the voluntary recall by Setton Farms, visit . Information can also be found at the California Department of Public Health at .


Karen Getten-Powell

Paramount Farms
13646 Highway 33
Lost Hills, CA 93249


From: matt
Sent: Tuesday, March 31, 2009 8:51 AM
To: Info - Wonderful Pistachios
Subject: salmonella?

Friday, March 27, 2009

when do i get laid?

So, I bought this Mandoline online (the black one obviously) and nothings happened yet? Am I supposed to learn how to play it to make it work?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

incense and peppermints

So I'm trying to get some fresh smells in my place besides the dog and the ashtray and the whiskey bottles (my socks smell like saltines so they're okay).
I open up my latest batch of incense from the bead store on Division and start sniffing for something I can handle on a stressful day.
No matter which colored stick I pull out though all I can smell is stripper.
Like bad vegas stripper- a very hard smell to remove from the subconscious and not anything I'm in the mood for currently.
Guess I need to play some Lady Gaga...

Monday, March 23, 2009

time machines

I wish someone had traveled back in time to the young 1970's me and pulled me aside and said- "Dude- they're going to get rid of the foil covered ding dongs"
I make a you gotta be shitting me face?
"They will stop and you will never taste anything that even comes close to that crisp chocolaty thing again for the rest of your life"
"Everything chocolate in the future will taste like a waxy floor mat and be wrapped in plastic"
I could have at least done some planning.
(NOTE: Ho Hos pictured ((duh))) but, only the slightly cold hockey puck that was the foil wrapped Ding Dong is worth mentioning- it was seriously insane)

via waffel whiffer

tent city

via mapuu

Thursday, March 12, 2009

poker chat

sourkryl: walker?
zidaane: more clues
ChitownQuinn: texas ranger?
sourkryl: quinn?
ChitownQuinn: what?
sourkryl: last name walker? chi masta
ChitownQuinn: no not me?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

fu dogs

Looking for some bookends online I'm kinda underwhelmed by the crappy options until I stumble on the wonder that is the ceramic fu dog. I've seen the junky red ones and fake jade and turquoise but, not any this insane.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

driving at night

I'm an anxious person. Even in my sleep my dreams mostly revolve around a swirl of anxieties. Climbing really high places I can't get down from is one I have all the time. Last night was a re-occurrence of another one that pops up all the time and is usually disturbing enough to wake me up. It's the driving a car when you are wayyyyy to sleepy or drugged to actually operate the vehicle. My head will be so heavy that I can barely lift it up to peer out the windshield and see that yes, we are traveling a HIGH RATE OF SPEED, and NO, I have no way to keep my head-up to steer the car and of course my leg is just wayyy too heavy to move towards the brakes. Does that sound like fun? To add to the drama there is usually some police involved (which may have a basis in reality!) and passengers (oh no!). So, last night I was basically at the wheel with my whole family in the backseat and it was my responsibillity to not put us in a tree. Hmmmm, I wonder what this means?

Thursday, February 26, 2009


If you think your good at predicting endings- try this one.

via videogum

Friday, February 20, 2009

Monday, February 16, 2009

heads up

If you're addicted to heroin, crack or alcohol and a camera crew is suddenly filming your family and your own descent to the gutter- heads up. There's about to be an intervention and you are going to be playing a major role!

Likewise, if you are a chef at some rundown restaurant on it's last legs and Gordon Ramsay shows up- heads up, it's time to clean your freezer out! IMPORTANT Gordon is going to go in there and embarrass the fuck out of you. Also, don't server him week old rice in the risotto and don't serve him frozen entree's the menu claims are 'homemade'. This really pisses him off.

More later...

Friday, February 13, 2009


Zoe has taken to sitting on the extra barstool next to me while I work.
She sorta reminds me of the old dude at the end of the bar.
The one that looks all nice and friendly untill you start a conversation and then realize what a crazy racist fuck they are.
She starts spewing shit like:
Shitzu's buy a lot of electronics and smoke too much
French Poodles are a bunch of pussies and don't know how to cook a potato (from my mother)
and this
Irish Setters are a bunch of sappy fucking drunks that can't sing good
We should've won Vietnam.

This is why we don't talk much...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

dog math and frisbees

Dogs don't know math.
I can state this emperically.
Zoe will poop uphill (she favors snow drifts). which anyone knows will result in 100% poop rolling downhill.
If she knew basic math she could calculate the drift angle and those odds.

Cats, on the other hand, never poop on an un-level surface.
Whether they know math or not no-one will ever know.
They are that secretive.
I mean- they can project the flight path of a bird but, they aren't telling anyone how they do it?

Another example: Ever put a dog on a chair? They think if they fall they will pass through some abyss. Cat's seem to be able to calculate the cat per second, gravity and the angle of the landing surface.

Cat at NASA: "It would probably burn up over Texas and spew debris from Texas to Louisiana and Arkansa".
Dog at NASA: "(twitchy) I need to get out of here".

nuff said.

Friday, January 30, 2009

I can't tell you the boner


nuff said...

Lifted from e.e.c

notes from a shower

(Scene- Heavens check in desk)
Desk Clerk: "Sir, you can't smoke up here."
Me: "Sorry (puts cigarette out)."
Me: "You guys must have like really high speed internet up here?"
Desk Clerk: "Actually, there's no internet up here."
Me: "Huh, drag, You get all the cable channels though right?"
Desk Clerk: "No (laughs), there's no television up here. (pause) They have that stuff in Hell though."
Me: "Seriously (looks at shoes)? Did you check me in yet...""

shelley duval

via Vanity Factory

People used to tell Renee she looked like Shelley Duval (which she was luke warm to).
Unironically, I always had a Shelley Duval crush. Go figure.
If I didn't shave, I would get Mickey Rourke (ala 9 1/2 weeks) or uhg, Barry Manilow.
I did not win the 'looks like' sweepstakes.
Together people said we were just like Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins (we did match the age diff).

When you get older though (like now), people don't say if you look like anyone. Bet Renee would kill for a Shelley Duval right now. Hell, I'd even take a Barry Manillow at this point- when he was hot!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I bought a new tooth yesterday.
Now, if only I could trade an extra chin and a couple moobs for:
Some new hair.
Some new eyeballs.
Fresh stomach lining.
New liver.
Knee cartilage.
Couple billion brain cells.
3 Lingual/Alveolar nerves.

I could then state on my on-line profile (if I had)-
Lovingly restored to 1976 condition.
A pleasure to drive.

bozo puters

Ron [8:38 AM]:
I just sent you an email about an HRS problem
Matt [8:38 AM]:
Ron [8:39 AM]:
I think HRS hates me.
Matt [8:42 AM]:
can't they just do 1 part for the whole amount
Matt [8:46 AM]:
run that thru the bozo puter now
Ron [8:47 AM]:
cookie says it worked.
Matt [8:47 AM]:
mr wizzo is happy
Ron [8:47 AM]:

Sunday, January 25, 2009

funeral for a friend

When we were about 17 and partying in cars my friend had this Camaro and
every night at somepoint he had to put his Elton John cassette in and play this song.
It's not as gay as it sounds.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

fulton market in winter

Looking West from my window. Fulton Market can be pretty cool looking when it snows. After a few weeks or months and that snow finally melts, that's when you realize you might just live in the ass of the city. I don't think there is a more filthy place.

f the eu gas shortage

This is the PM of Ukraine (Yulia Tymoshenko). She looks like she just got back from some LARPing in the Yalta Mountains.
And I do LIKE the LARPer look especially when it's done right (model blogger jenna below).

Friday, January 9, 2009

eames shell chairs

Remember whe you walked into class in Jr High and there was a projector in the room and you were like 'cool, a movie'. Well sit back and enjoy. This is one of those but better.