Saturday, August 30, 2008


Matt: watching tv 10:45 AM
Matt: they just boasted that john mccains favorite casino game is dice 10:45 AM
Proswell: !? 10:46 AM
Matt: which means he likes a game with zero skill- all luck 10:46 AM
Proswell: that is telling 10:46 AM
Proswell: after seeing obama's speech last night i felt a little bad for him 10:46 AM
Matt: I don't 10:47 AM
Matt: he may go down as the tool of the century 10:47 AM
Proswell: O'bama did do a great job of painting the party as frightened rich people 10:50 AM
Proswell: he is really nailing it 10:50 AM
Matt: well- no man with arms that short is going to be president 10:51 AM
Matt: I just wish o'bama wouldn't body surf 10:51 AM
Matt: I don't care if he's from an island 10:51 AM
Proswell: more crowd surfing 10:52 AM
Matt: totally 10:53 AM
Matt: not that I wouldn't want hear o'bama speak- but I could never deal with crowds that pavlovian and fawning 10:55 AM
Proswell: the fawning was a bit intense 10:55 AM
Proswell: grown men fawning 10:55 AM
Matt: yeah- I would need to kill a bunny after to feel clean again 10:55 AM

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

new pretenders!

No video yet- hear 'Loves a Mystery' here and pretend you're in the backseat of a karmen ghia with me!

The part about doing it again- yes...

Saturday, August 23, 2008


So, yesterday I visit mom. And things are not going well. She fell a few times.
The chemo is not working and only making her weaker.
I cooked for her like I normally do. Last visit I made the best frajita's on the grill ever, with real flank steak marinated in limes and onions and such.
They came out amazing and tasted better than any restaurant.
She said it was the toughest/chewiest meat she'd ever tried.
She's in her 70's and that was the first frajita she'd ever eaten.
That's all I cared about.
She did say she loved the spanish rice and proceeded to put 'sweat chilli sauce' on it and eat it for days. When John (her husband) saw I was making black beans, he pulled a can out of the cuboard and with a look of exasparation said "we had these???"- showing me a can of boston baked beans.
Friday I made chicken with peeled tomatoes, curry, onions and green pepper.
This did not go over well either.
After dinner we were sitting around the living room and a Brittish detective series they got from the library is playing on dvd. My mom explains to me how she's been trying to do this picture of herself from like 40 years ago for weeks and can't get it right.
She prefaces showing me the photo by explaining that she had to crop my dad out of it as if I didn't expect this. I'm used to this kind of historical editing of my life. Few good memories seem to exist (and not many mentions) of this person who was my father.
Anyway- she wants me to fix her drawing.
Her drawing is one I noticed on the last visit and it's not a great likeness of her. Like she's struggling with something. It's almost a vision of herself through a childlike prism with big doe eyes and a face too short to match my mothers long brooding stare.
I say I can't do that. There would be too much erasing and work. I'll start another...
She tells me she's still not too old to learn something and wants to see what I do.
So, I begin a drawing. I use a half sketch she had started- the outline with no features. I adjust things and do a thirty minute rough sketch of the direction she should have been going in. I explained, "you need to set the eyes in the sockets to capture someone". "Architect the face". Meaning- she has an angular face and strong nose and if you don't architect the eyes correct it won't look like the person. It will be a dewey eyed version of them. She said my drawing was off and I should start another one.
She had done five previous attempts herself and thought this the normal course.
I said I would try again on the same drawing and give it my best effort.
I went back to work and re-checked every bone, ligament and muscle in her face.
Lining everything up- upside down and sideways and then carefully erasing my ligature
to reveal a portrait of what she looked like in some distant past.
Flattering and pretty.
She liked it and approved. She said "I didn't know my face was that angular". I said "It is, in a nice- attractive way".
She kept insisting I sign it- which I never do. But in this case I agreed and signed it exactly as she wanted. "portrait of my mother, by Matthew".

I sorta knew why she wanted me to do this at the time and as it sunk in I took extra time to make sure this was one of the best drawings I ever did, but, I'm in such denial that she will be passing that it didn't really hit me untill today. She just really wanted to see me draw one more time. Like the same kid that used to finish a drawing and run up to her for some measure of approval all those years ago. I was sitting there painting my bedroom today and thinking about it when it hit me like a load of bricks. It crushed me like I know I'm going to be crushed in these coming months. Everything's the last time. Which I know but I don't want to admit.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


"Study Finds No-Nose Bicycle Saddles Are Kinder to Male Genitalia:
There has been controversy and confusion about the connection between cycling and erectile disfunction ever since urologist Dr Irwin Goldstein said, in a Bicycling Magazine article, that 'there are two kinds of cyclists: those who are impotent and those who will be.' Obviously, that's an overstatement. In fact, having ridden a bicycle nearly every day for the last 7 years and having spoken to countless other cyclists, I am of the opinion that bicycle saddles only cause numbness 1) if the bike is improperly adjusted; 2) when a rider isn't fit and 3) after a very long and intense ride."

I don't really need my genitalia that much anymore anyway and there's no way I would have a seat that looked that stupid. Maybe if my purpose were to re-populate the planet with slightly spacey lovers of detective novels and cloud gazing I could see worrying about this.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Your search - angora - did not match any records.

Make sure all words are spelled correctly, try different keywords, or try more general keywords.

Monday, August 11, 2008

lunch with dawn

I didn't actually say this to anyone but threatened to.
"don't mind my friend Dawn .... she doesn't own a TV"

Sunday, August 10, 2008

what's your sign

Just reading the news on a Sunday as I'm want to do but, I may be closer to this Rielle chic than I want to admit.

"I struck up a conversation with the woman at the next event, as we waited outside. She told me her name and asked me what my astrological sign was, which I thought was a little unusual. I told her. She smiled, and began telling me her life story: how she was working as a documentary-film maker, living with a friend in South Orange, N.J., but how she'd previously had "many lives." She'd worked, she said, as an actress and as a spiritual adviser. She was fiercely devoted to astrology and New Age spirituality. She'd been a New York party girl, she'd been married and divorced, she'd been a seeker and a teacher and was a firm believer in the power of truth."

Wednesday, August 6, 2008



Matt: timecheck
Matt: I have underwear were the tensile strength of the waistband is less than optimal. Unfortunately I'm wearing such a pair today.
Matt: things you need to be aware of
Dawn: heh.
Dawn: i'm not wearing any
Dawn: things you need to be aware of
Matt: not an option

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Saturday, August 2, 2008

american teen

I have a theory about Hannah and the bf break-ups.
(and thanks dawn!)

Friday, August 1, 2008


I'm walking back with zoe

and there's always someone with a shopping cart around our building

and this guy- picks up a brick and puts it in his cart- and when he looked at me- we both knew

that's a window buster