Wednesday, July 30, 2008

cut here

ellipsis \i-ˈlip-səs, e-\
A mark or series of marks ( . . . or * * * , for example) used in writing or printing to indicate an omission, especially of letters or words.

dawn calls my shit

Dawn: and hold-up .... why on earth did you use a smiley face ... sooo not Matt
Matt: that made me laugh- that's one of the three smiley's I'll do all year
Matt: I know- they should be more momentous
Dawn: you should laugh that it took me a minute to recognize
Dawn: shock had settled
Matt: all my shit comes with an assumed dour face

Monday, July 28, 2008

monday twofer (minimalist)

800 Cherries, Frozen (Snow, Snow, Snow)

Black Moth Super Rainbow, Hazy Field People

These are by some art student in South Korea (drownedboys)- enjoy!

scenes from a coffee shop

Guy comes out on the patio and pulls his pack of Parliaments out. He looks around and then heads to the corner under the tree to have a cigarette. A few minutes later he comes up to the girl sitting at the table adjacent mine and is like "hey Amy... do you have a bike?". Amy's like "do I have a what?".
Asian guy- "Do you own a bike?"
Amy- "Yeah- I have a bike. Why?"
(oofah- that was a mistake Amy)
Asian guy- "Did you know they have a ferry over in Chinatown?"
Amy- "A Ferry?"
Asian guy- "Yeah- they have a ferry... and I wanted to know if you would like to bike there with me."
Asian guy- "Tonight"
Amy- "Tonight?"
Asian guy- "yeah- tonight"
Amy- "I think I'm just gonna work."
(Amy is reading a magazine)
Asian guy- "You have work to do tonight?"
Amy- "Yeah, I was thinking I might work tonight."
Asian guy- "Oh, okay... um, What about tomorrow?"
Amy "Tomorrow?"
Asian guy- "Yeah- tomorrow"
Amy- "I don't know, I think I'm busy tomorrow"
Asian guy- "Your busy tomorrow. Okay. What about the weekend?"

Serious- it when on and on like that for another 5 minutes. Like David Mamet whom I loathe on low batteries. I had to pretend I was so engrossed in my work that I didn't bear witness to any of this- even though I was TWO FEET from their table. I was almost tempted to turn and tell Amy "Cmon- your killing me-throw the guy a bone and make this stop".

Oh- and the imagineers were back (and singing again). They are trying to ruin paradise. If my Irish temper goes past a tipping point they are going to find out why it's tactically better to pick the table with the wrought iron chairs as opposed to the plastic chairs they'll be forced to defend themselves with.

death of the suburbs

A lot of people (Realtors, builders, bankers) are waiting for the “bottom” of the housing crash, with the idea that we’ll re-enter an up-cycle. I see it differently. There won’t be a resumption of “growth” as we’ve known it, certainly not in suburban residential and commercial real estate. The suburban project is over. We’re done with that. (I know people find this unbelievable.) The existing stuff will represent a huge liability for us for decades to come as it loses value and utility and falls apart.

However, I also believe our big cities will contract. They are simply not scaled to the energy realities of the future. The successful places, in my opinion, will be the smaller cities and towns that 1.) have walkable neighborhoods, 2.) have proximity to water for power, transport and drinking, and 3.) have a meaningful relationship with a productive agricultural hinterland. Some places you can forget about completely: Phoenix . . . Las Vegas . . . they’re toast.

From James Kunstler

rocket fish

I know- I don't actually surf! That's just a technicality. I still need this surf board. It's made of CARBON!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

saint sebastion

I was always going to do this as a painting since art school (self portrait like).
Now I think it might make an interesting tattoo?

caution children

Yes- continue to send me random truck pictures. I'm compelled to post them.

times new viking

This is like a test- do you really like low-fi post punk garagey bands?
I know she can't sing or play her instrument but, I'm fascinated by her commitment.

2am haiku

nutty bars and panang curry
choking wakeup
acid reflux
see what the buzz is about
women behind bars

Friday, July 25, 2008

breeding properties of m&m's

(from via [marklasanti] who got it from somewheres else)

I received this message on the blog, but it obviously fits no known topic. The author is something of a mystery: "R. Crutch," no city, no e-mail. But I felt it necessary to share with you. RE

From R. Crutch:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

deep thoughts

The OCD person may also have irrational thoughts related to being meticulous in actions (a “perfectionist”) or in being fixated on something or someone, although the obsessive-compulsive disorder person can also have a condition relating to an anal-retentive character or other such personality disorder.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

astralmatt (uhhg)

What was your first internet handle? Mine was (the screamingly embarrassing!) "Vampyress," created in 1994, in Mrs Butterfield's 7th grade computer lab at Albuquerque Academy, where Lily Maase and I would occupy illicit chatrooms that someone, somehow, had showed her how to access. The entertainment value of chatrooms definitely trumped Mrs Butterfield's lab's other charms, including Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing and Life and Death. Our favorite chat was called "UK Surfers," and Vampyress enjoyed looking on as Lily Maase carried on a cyb3r-intensive flirtation with a UK Surfer called "ScrewboyT." "I check my email every day," sighed the twelve-year-old Lily, "If I'm really bored, sometimes every hour." Vampyress was duly impressed.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

all the sadness in the world

I’m Not Crying, It’s Only Raining on My Face

I'm still slightly embarrassed by what transpired on the plane ride back from Vegas.
I believe it's criminal to play a sappy movie on a flight to emotionally and physically exhausted passengers returning from Vegas. I was sitting in the middle seat. which almost never happens and makes me really uncomfortable because I'm claustrophobic. I need a clear path on some side in case I need to escape.
So the movie starts and I'm like oh no, not this non-sense.
The movie is "Definitely, Maybe" with Ryan Reynolds and Abigail Breslin. I actually find this girl annoying cause I hate precocious kids. Anyway, if you've seen this movie there is one scene that you can totally see coming for miles away. It's where he tells his daughter what the 'good part' of the whole story is and even though you so know what's coming, it still manages to get you. So, there was this awkwardness after the movie where the girl sitting next to me and myself were trying to surreptitiously wipe tears off our faces and pull it together like we had done something dirty.

If you ever really need a good cry rent the movie "Away from Her", which is quite possibly the saddest love story ever made. It will absolutely puddle you.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

roller crushes

I go through all 80+ WCR profiles so you don't have to!
This is my new favorite- Terra Fye. Tough yet sophisticated.
Oh Miss Terra... can I write your profile?

kings of convenience - the build up

(Dawn says listen- I concur!)

joan as police woman - eternal flame

This is such a good song. I cannot however, endorse this bad art school video.
You can almost hear the production manager in your head- "What do mean you can't find a sea horse costume? I'll fucking make one myself".

Monday, July 14, 2008

frightened rabbit

Best live show in a long time.

smokers paradise

Dawn: how's the smokes?
Matt: I didn't want to be a bother but I'm dying
Matt: I'm going to nap when I get out of the sun
Matt: and read
Matt: I could smoke a wooden coffee stir right now
Matt: I would expect the meanness to go off the scale by end of week
Dawn: really that bad already?
Matt: I just happen to be in a smokers paradise right now
Matt: testing myself with coffee and patio laden with ashtrays

Sunday, July 13, 2008


No one can tell me I'm too old for jean shorts... ever.
They bring out my inner beach bum.

nick and zoe

Sadly, Nick left and Zoe stayed.

Friday, July 11, 2008


tgictf- refers to a place I used to work were a certain girl wore a certain tight pair of jeans every Friday and we were all appalled, so we needed to own it (ode to Laurie).

One thing I hate about Fridays- payday lottery players at the Dominick's service counter when I just want smokes. C'mon- do you really know that many birthdays (bad ju ju - me thinks)?

Day two my shit code under duress is beating the top financial news services in the country.
Take that bitches.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


People who collaborate at coffee shops are beyond tooldom.
"Look at us, we're having a creative meeting at a coffee shop!"

-nuff said

Bird that must've eaten some relish just shit on my keyboard.

gin pops

I see these in my plans this weekend. Add some nicotine and Alazopram and we're set.

Gin-and-Chile-Infused Grapefruit
Eben Freeman, mixologist, Tailor
A spiced-up version of a greyhound cocktail (gin and grapefruit juice, classically); Freeman nicknames this pop the “Hot Dog.” As your mouth turns cold, you’re bombarded with that most elusive of taste sensations: citrusy icy-hotness.

2 cups fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice
1/4 serrano chile
3 ounces Plymouth gin
2 ounces sugar
Grenadine for color

Combine all ingredients in a bowl, and let rest in the refrigerator for half an hour. Remove chile, add liquid to molds, and freeze. Serves about 10.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

this story's not finished

Through some twist of randomness and over exuberance you decide it's a good idea to try and connect with someone who lives in your neighborhood.
Someone you've never seen but apparently lives a block away.
After many email exchanges and an anti-climatic meeting you should've spent elsewhere,
you both realize (in the three seconds it takes to size someone up) that there is zero chemistry.
Then, just to prove life is a horror show- this person suddenly begins appearing on your path. Like every day.
My brain is now trained to scan crowds for anyone who looks likes the woman who gets killed early in a Brian De Palma movie.

But wait...
Then you become obsessed. And this woman becomes anyone. Every person matching the slightest description is them at a glance.
That couldn't have been her- she doesn't have a bike?

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

strippers- vegas

My private dance (I didn't ask for but, someone always buys a dance for the shy guy) turned into a therapy session- so awkward.
Stripper- "Your kinda quiet".
Me in my head- "well- as it turns out. I don't really have a lot in common with strippers".
Me in reality- Much painful over-shares about separation and not dating!!!
You have no idea how un-cool being in a VIP section of a strip club is until you've lived it.
It's like loser squared with a spotlight.
and you where there continued...
Stripper- "What's your name"
Me- "Matt"
Stripper- "What?"
Me- "M y   n a m e   i s   M a t t" - Loud video of Goldfrapp playing in background, while Japanese businessmen stumble by.
Stripper- "My name is Mona- do want to have a dance?"
Me "I don't have any m o n e y"
Me "Try my friend I v a n" - points at Ivan.
Repeat that about a hundred times.

nuff said...