Thursday, February 26, 2009


If you think your good at predicting endings- try this one.

via videogum

Friday, February 20, 2009

Monday, February 16, 2009

heads up

If you're addicted to heroin, crack or alcohol and a camera crew is suddenly filming your family and your own descent to the gutter- heads up. There's about to be an intervention and you are going to be playing a major role!

Likewise, if you are a chef at some rundown restaurant on it's last legs and Gordon Ramsay shows up- heads up, it's time to clean your freezer out! IMPORTANT Gordon is going to go in there and embarrass the fuck out of you. Also, don't server him week old rice in the risotto and don't serve him frozen entree's the menu claims are 'homemade'. This really pisses him off.

More later...

Friday, February 13, 2009


Zoe has taken to sitting on the extra barstool next to me while I work.
She sorta reminds me of the old dude at the end of the bar.
The one that looks all nice and friendly untill you start a conversation and then realize what a crazy racist fuck they are.
She starts spewing shit like:
Shitzu's buy a lot of electronics and smoke too much
French Poodles are a bunch of pussies and don't know how to cook a potato (from my mother)
and this
Irish Setters are a bunch of sappy fucking drunks that can't sing good
We should've won Vietnam.

This is why we don't talk much...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

dog math and frisbees

Dogs don't know math.
I can state this emperically.
Zoe will poop uphill (she favors snow drifts). which anyone knows will result in 100% poop rolling downhill.
If she knew basic math she could calculate the drift angle and those odds.

Cats, on the other hand, never poop on an un-level surface.
Whether they know math or not no-one will ever know.
They are that secretive.
I mean- they can project the flight path of a bird but, they aren't telling anyone how they do it?

Another example: Ever put a dog on a chair? They think if they fall they will pass through some abyss. Cat's seem to be able to calculate the cat per second, gravity and the angle of the landing surface.

Cat at NASA: "It would probably burn up over Texas and spew debris from Texas to Louisiana and Arkansa".
Dog at NASA: "(twitchy) I need to get out of here".

nuff said.