Tuesday, June 23, 2009

sartorial conundrums




Q: I’ve been eyeing a Greek fisherman’s cap for a while, but I’m worried it’ll look silly. Is it possible to wear one without looking like a Greek fisherman?

A: If you’re a poet, a photographer, or a choreographer, people expect you to demonstrate a certain peculiarity. You can smoke a pipe or roll your own. You can wear a scarf in fair weather. You can sport a walking stick or wear Mongolian wrestler boots or a dashiki. Or you can resort to bohemian headgear, which does the job even in California, where one is often seen in a car and so “flair” items work best when visible from the shoulders up. The Greek fisherman’s cap is more casual than a bowler, conjures less scary associations than a Bavarian alpine hat, and looks less silly than a tam. And of course, there was no Greek fisherman in the Village People. Can you pull it off? If you try one and look like Harry Potter incognito, you might need to add several days of beard and an Isle of Skye sweater, huaraches, or other oddish accessories for street cred.

Actually- the correct answer is NO. Unless there is a net in your hand you cannot wear a greek fishermans hat. Also NO, you CAN'T wear a scarf, HR Puffinstuff stole that right a LONG time ago and Harry Potter cemented it (unless you're Johnny Depp!).
Also unacceptable:
Leg warmers (on anybody).
Cute rainboots (on anybody).
Layered undershirts.
A pipe.
Wristbands.
Shoes that have toes that curl.
Big sunglasses (unless you are Aristotle Onasis!).
White pants (unless you are Bing Crosby or drunk).

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