Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
harold washington library
Books:
Kapitoil - Teddy Wayne.
The Comedians - Graham Greene.
The Quite American - Graham Greene.
Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe.
Where the Road Ends - Binka Le Breton.
No Way Down - Graham Bowley.
Glimpses of the Devil - M. Scott Peck.
The Devil, Demonology, and Witchcraft - Henry Ansgar Kelly.
The Making of the African Queen - Audrey Hepburn.
Instant crushes - 3.
Kapitoil - Teddy Wayne.
The Comedians - Graham Greene.
The Quite American - Graham Greene.
Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe.
Where the Road Ends - Binka Le Breton.
No Way Down - Graham Bowley.
Glimpses of the Devil - M. Scott Peck.
The Devil, Demonology, and Witchcraft - Henry Ansgar Kelly.
The Making of the African Queen - Audrey Hepburn.
Instant crushes - 3.
thanksgiving
Cucumber salad w/apple cider vinegar.
Apple salad w/ baby Granny Smith apples.
Sausage and apricot stuffing.
Turkey.
Mashed potatoes.
Zucchini bread.
Apple salad w/ baby Granny Smith apples.
Sausage and apricot stuffing.
Turkey.
Mashed potatoes.
Zucchini bread.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
zucchini bread
If you are looking for a way to make some crazy holiday cash then Thanksgiving is the optimal time to corner the nutmeg market. There were zero jars at the store and a few people staring dumbly at the racks. I ended up with something called pumpkin spice which, I also added to my walnut apple salad.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
howler monkeys
I've been thinking about a novel that involves an exorcism in the Amazon.
The first part of the book would be kinda like African Queen meets Heart of Darkness
with a priest, a female journalist, a native guide and a boat captain.
They will travel upriver and I picture at some point they arrive at the hut were the local Indian child is possessed and there are 6 of these howlers on top of it.
CAN YOU FEEL IT???
Saturday, November 13, 2010
space bubbles
I had a vissualisation of these bubble years ago didn't know anything of such kind would happen now I remember very bluntly.I am no astrologer or nothing of that sort,but if I could do any help in this matter I would be glad.
Posted by shubhra shikhar banerjee, 2010-11-13 08:16:16
Can someone call Shubra ASAP.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
re: need website like groupon
Dear delusional,
I normally charge $50-100,000 for this but for you I will do it for $500.
It should take me a week all by myself.
Here are some sites I've done previously:
www.facebook.com
www.twitter.com
www.nytimes.com
I'll clear my schedule as I await your response.
(Nick said this was a harsh response from me)
I normally charge $50-100,000 for this but for you I will do it for $500.
It should take me a week all by myself.
Here are some sites I've done previously:
www.facebook.com
www.twitter.com
www.nytimes.com
I'll clear my schedule as I await your response.
(Nick said this was a harsh response from me)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
coding shuttles
AS. Could you describe a training scenario on the
SMS that caused a problem for you?
Clemons. Yes--it was a "bad-news-good-news" situation.
In 1981, just before STS-2 was scheduled to take
off, some fuel was spilled on the vehicle and a number
of tiles fell off. The mission was therefore delayed for a
month or so. There wasn't much to do at the Cape, so
the crew came back to Houston to put in more time on
the SMS.
One of the abort simulations they chose to test is
called a "TransAtlantic abort," which supposes that the
crew can neither return to the launch site nor go into
orbit. The objective is to land in Spain after dumping
some fuel. The crew was about to go into this dump
sequence when all four of our flight computer machines
locked up and went "catatonic." Had this been
the real thing, the Shuttle would probably have had
difficulty landing. This kind of scenario could only occur
under a very specific and unlikely combination of
physical and aerodynamic conditions; but there it was:
Our machines all stopped. Our greatest fear had materialized--
a generic software problem.
We went off to look at the problem. The crew was
rather upset, and they went off to lunch.
AS. And contemplated their future on the next mission?
Clemons. We contemplated our future too. We analyzed
the dump and determined what had happened.
Some software in all four machines had simultaneously
branched off into a place where there wasn't any code
to branch off into. This resulted in a short loop in the
operating system that was trying to field and to service
repeated interrupts. No applications were being run.
All the displays got a big X across them indicating that
they were not being serviced.
AS. What does that indicate?
Macina. The display units are designed to display a
large X whenever the I/O traffic between the PASS
computers and the display is interrupted.
Clemons. We pulled four or five of our best people
together, and they spent two days trying to understand
what had happened. It was a very subtle problem.
We started outside the module with the bad branch
and worked our way backward until we found the code
that was responsible. The module at fault was a multipurpose
piece of code that could be used to dump fuel
at several points of the trajectory. In this particular
case, it had been invoked the first time during ascent,
had gone through part of its process, and was then
stopped by the crew. It had stopped properly. Later on,
it was invoked again from a different point in the software,
when it was supposed to open the tanks and
dump some additional fuel. There were some counters
in the code, however, that had not been reinitialized.
The module restarted, thinking it was on its first pass.
One variable that was not reinitialized was a counter
that was being used as the basis for a GOTO. The
code was expecting this counter to have a value between
between
1 and X, say, but because the counter was not
reinitialized, it started out with a high value. Eventually
the code encountered a value beyond the expected
range, say X + 1, which caused it to branch out
of its logic. It was an "uncomputed" GOTO. Until we
realized that the code had been called a second time,
we couldn't figure out how the counter could return a
value so high.
We have always been careful to analyze our processes
whenever we've done something that's let a discrepancy
get out. We are, after all, supposed to deliver
error-flee code. We noticed that this discrepancy resembled
three or four previous ones we had seen in
more benign conditions in other code modules. In these
earlier cases, the code had always involved a module
that took more than one pass to finish processing. These
modules had all been interrupted and didn't work correctly
when they were restarted. An example is the
opening of the Shuttle vent doors. A module initially
executes commands to open these doors and then
passes. A second pass checks to see if the doors actually
did open. A third pass checks to see how long time has
run or whether it has received a signal to close the
doors again, etc. Important status is maintained in the
module between passes.
AS. Isn't flight control multipass?
Clemons. Yes, in a broad sense. But every pass
through flight control looks like every other. We go in
and sample data, and based on that data, we make
some decision and take action. We don't wait for any
set number of passes through flight control to occur.
For the STS-2 problem, we took three of our people,
all relatively fresh from school, gave them these discrepancy
reports (DRs) from similar problems, and
asked for help. We were looking for a way to analyze
modules that had these multiple-pass characteristics
systematically. After working for about a week and a
half, they developed a list of seven questions that they
felt would have a high probability of trapping these
kinds of problems. To test the questions, we constructed
a simple experiment: We asked a random
group of analysts and programmers to analyze a handful
of modules, some with these type of discrepancies,
some without. They found every one of the problems
and gave us several false alarms into the bargain. We
were confident they had found everything.
We then called everybody in our organization together
and presented these results. We asked them to
use these seven questions to "debug" all of our m0dules,
and ended up finding about 35 more potential
problems, which we turned into potential DRs. In many
instances, we had to go outside IBM to find out whether
these discrepancies could really occur. The final result
was a total of 17 real discrepancy reports. Of those,
only one would have had a serious effect.
It turned out that this one problem originated during
a sequence of events that occurred during countdown.
A process was invoked that could be interrupted if
there was a launch hold. The only way it would be
reset to its correct initialization values was if a signal
was sent from the ground when the launch process was
restarted. We incorrectly assumed that this signal was
always sent. Had we not found this problem, we would
have lost safety checking on the solid rocket boosters
during ascent. We patched this one for STS-2 right
away.
In retrospect, we took a very bad situation and
turned it into something of a success story. We felt very
good about it. This was the first time we'd been able to
analyze this kind of error systematically. It's one thing
to find logic errors, but in a system as complex as this,
there are a lot of things that are difficult to test for.
Despite a veritable ocean of test cases, the combination
of requirements acting in concert under certain specific
conditions is very difficult to identify, let alone test.
There's a need for more appropriate kinds of analysis.
more
NASA handbook for programming in HAL/S
SMS that caused a problem for you?
Clemons. Yes--it was a "bad-news-good-news" situation.
In 1981, just before STS-2 was scheduled to take
off, some fuel was spilled on the vehicle and a number
of tiles fell off. The mission was therefore delayed for a
month or so. There wasn't much to do at the Cape, so
the crew came back to Houston to put in more time on
the SMS.
One of the abort simulations they chose to test is
called a "TransAtlantic abort," which supposes that the
crew can neither return to the launch site nor go into
orbit. The objective is to land in Spain after dumping
some fuel. The crew was about to go into this dump
sequence when all four of our flight computer machines
locked up and went "catatonic." Had this been
the real thing, the Shuttle would probably have had
difficulty landing. This kind of scenario could only occur
under a very specific and unlikely combination of
physical and aerodynamic conditions; but there it was:
Our machines all stopped. Our greatest fear had materialized--
a generic software problem.
We went off to look at the problem. The crew was
rather upset, and they went off to lunch.
AS. And contemplated their future on the next mission?
Clemons. We contemplated our future too. We analyzed
the dump and determined what had happened.
Some software in all four machines had simultaneously
branched off into a place where there wasn't any code
to branch off into. This resulted in a short loop in the
operating system that was trying to field and to service
repeated interrupts. No applications were being run.
All the displays got a big X across them indicating that
they were not being serviced.
AS. What does that indicate?
Macina. The display units are designed to display a
large X whenever the I/O traffic between the PASS
computers and the display is interrupted.
Clemons. We pulled four or five of our best people
together, and they spent two days trying to understand
what had happened. It was a very subtle problem.
We started outside the module with the bad branch
and worked our way backward until we found the code
that was responsible. The module at fault was a multipurpose
piece of code that could be used to dump fuel
at several points of the trajectory. In this particular
case, it had been invoked the first time during ascent,
had gone through part of its process, and was then
stopped by the crew. It had stopped properly. Later on,
it was invoked again from a different point in the software,
when it was supposed to open the tanks and
dump some additional fuel. There were some counters
in the code, however, that had not been reinitialized.
The module restarted, thinking it was on its first pass.
One variable that was not reinitialized was a counter
that was being used as the basis for a GOTO. The
code was expecting this counter to have a value between
between
1 and X, say, but because the counter was not
reinitialized, it started out with a high value. Eventually
the code encountered a value beyond the expected
range, say X + 1, which caused it to branch out
of its logic. It was an "uncomputed" GOTO. Until we
realized that the code had been called a second time,
we couldn't figure out how the counter could return a
value so high.
We have always been careful to analyze our processes
whenever we've done something that's let a discrepancy
get out. We are, after all, supposed to deliver
error-flee code. We noticed that this discrepancy resembled
three or four previous ones we had seen in
more benign conditions in other code modules. In these
earlier cases, the code had always involved a module
that took more than one pass to finish processing. These
modules had all been interrupted and didn't work correctly
when they were restarted. An example is the
opening of the Shuttle vent doors. A module initially
executes commands to open these doors and then
passes. A second pass checks to see if the doors actually
did open. A third pass checks to see how long time has
run or whether it has received a signal to close the
doors again, etc. Important status is maintained in the
module between passes.
AS. Isn't flight control multipass?
Clemons. Yes, in a broad sense. But every pass
through flight control looks like every other. We go in
and sample data, and based on that data, we make
some decision and take action. We don't wait for any
set number of passes through flight control to occur.
For the STS-2 problem, we took three of our people,
all relatively fresh from school, gave them these discrepancy
reports (DRs) from similar problems, and
asked for help. We were looking for a way to analyze
modules that had these multiple-pass characteristics
systematically. After working for about a week and a
half, they developed a list of seven questions that they
felt would have a high probability of trapping these
kinds of problems. To test the questions, we constructed
a simple experiment: We asked a random
group of analysts and programmers to analyze a handful
of modules, some with these type of discrepancies,
some without. They found every one of the problems
and gave us several false alarms into the bargain. We
were confident they had found everything.
We then called everybody in our organization together
and presented these results. We asked them to
use these seven questions to "debug" all of our m0dules,
and ended up finding about 35 more potential
problems, which we turned into potential DRs. In many
instances, we had to go outside IBM to find out whether
these discrepancies could really occur. The final result
was a total of 17 real discrepancy reports. Of those,
only one would have had a serious effect.
It turned out that this one problem originated during
a sequence of events that occurred during countdown.
A process was invoked that could be interrupted if
there was a launch hold. The only way it would be
reset to its correct initialization values was if a signal
was sent from the ground when the launch process was
restarted. We incorrectly assumed that this signal was
always sent. Had we not found this problem, we would
have lost safety checking on the solid rocket boosters
during ascent. We patched this one for STS-2 right
away.
In retrospect, we took a very bad situation and
turned it into something of a success story. We felt very
good about it. This was the first time we'd been able to
analyze this kind of error systematically. It's one thing
to find logic errors, but in a system as complex as this,
there are a lot of things that are difficult to test for.
Despite a veritable ocean of test cases, the combination
of requirements acting in concert under certain specific
conditions is very difficult to identify, let alone test.
There's a need for more appropriate kinds of analysis.
more
NASA handbook for programming in HAL/S
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
telepathe - pinball (simian mobile disco mix)
There has not been a good pinball song in over 30 years.
Monday, September 20, 2010
50000lb moabs
fghtnirishman at 6:22 PM September 15, 2010
cut off all water electricity cn cx gas for 4 days to allow 'innocent' civilians to flee and be searched- use 50000lb MOABS TO CONCUSS THE TALIBAN 4 DAYS OF 155ARTILLERY WITH CNN RICK SANCHEZ AND CBS KATTY CORIC IN THE LEAD STRYKERS
SEND A MESSAGE - THE WAR WITHOUT END WILL END ON HALOWEEN NOTHING STANDING
DESTROY BURN AND POISON THE POPPY FIELDS AFTER 9 YEARS
SEMPER FI
cut off all water electricity cn cx gas for 4 days to allow 'innocent' civilians to flee and be searched- use 50000lb MOABS TO CONCUSS THE TALIBAN 4 DAYS OF 155ARTILLERY WITH CNN RICK SANCHEZ AND CBS KATTY CORIC IN THE LEAD STRYKERS
SEND A MESSAGE - THE WAR WITHOUT END WILL END ON HALOWEEN NOTHING STANDING
DESTROY BURN AND POISON THE POPPY FIELDS AFTER 9 YEARS
SEMPER FI
Friday, September 17, 2010
microsecond delay in java
private static void microDelay(long delay)
{
long start = System.nanoTime();
boolean run = true;
while(run)
if(System.nanoTime() - start >= delay)
return;
}
{
long start = System.nanoTime();
boolean run = true;
while(run)
if(System.nanoTime() - start >= delay)
return;
}
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
friend off
I was reading a profile and hit this line:
For gifts: I’m not that close to anyone.
Which I liked- because no one says that. It's especially odd for someone to say it that owns a restaurant, although that may be a trend. The anti-social chef.
In my case I find people annoying 70% of the time and for sure I can be annoying a generous 80% of the time so, there's a very small window there that is just too bothersome to maintain.
For gifts: I’m not that close to anyone.
Which I liked- because no one says that. It's especially odd for someone to say it that owns a restaurant, although that may be a trend. The anti-social chef.
In my case I find people annoying 70% of the time and for sure I can be annoying a generous 80% of the time so, there's a very small window there that is just too bothersome to maintain.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
winter's a bummer
I will add... I had a prophetic dream about this months before he announced his retirement. In my dream, there was a circle of people that came to learn something from Joaquin. They were there to have a music lesson. They were very excited to be there. However, when he came out, he looked like hell. He was disheveled. His clothes were too big. His face was very very dark like he hated himself with a passion. The anger emanated from him. His face was distorted. His nose was pushed up into his face like a pig, but it was destroyed. He couldn't walk. His bones were stiff and distorted. He was in pain. I immediately awoke and sat up in bed. A deep voice said to me, "He will become a shadow of himself." I asked, "What?" It then said, "It's called judgment." I wasn't sure what that meant. I asked, "Judgment? Who? Me on him? Him on himself? God?" I felt compelled to write him. There is so much more to this that I cannot write about here. A lot of coincidences/synchronocity happened to me, as if to make it obvious I had to send it out, but I didn't do anything about it. I chickened out. And now I regret it VERY MUCH. Like there'd been a way to get it to him anyway. Last thing I wanted was to embarrass myself (And unfortunately I am doing it now). I almost tried, but then I got spooked. I wrote a riddle for him and sent it to LIV - the place he performed at in Miami. PART of it said: "Spring is near, but not quite Summer. Either's good 'cause Winter's a bummer. Fall is my favorite, though maybe not so much for you. Good God, man. You jumped into a zoo..." Then there was a couple other lines. If you remember, he took a dive off stage. I always wondered if that's why. That was the first instance that made me wonder if it was just acting. I don't know what to think now I am reading about the movie. It seems to fit the feeling in the dream. It's not over yet, I don't think. If you could fathom what I saw in my dream. All the people there were incredibly disgusted, shocked, heartbroken, and very disappointed that he fell to such depths of darkness and self-destruction. The damage was done & there was nothing anyone could do about it. I regret not sending that stuff. I wonder if I could've stopped it. I feel like such a jackass for saying this. But if you're one of those who's new agey or spiritual, you might understand my dilemma. I think was supposed to send this stuff. I didn't. That happened. I don't know what to do. I can't just drop it, ignore it and pretend it didn't happen (I mean I can, but it wouldn't sit right with my conscience). The thing is, it might not be over. That scares me & I had hoped this doc would put my mind at ease. It doesn't. And for those who are going to comment, I already know. In a dream 2 weeks ago, he sat next to me at cafeteria table while I had a folder opened in front of me. He was shaggy again. He tucked in a slip of paper and walked away. He was indifferent. I took the slip out. On it was scrawled, "You open for press." It didn't make sense then. It does now. So here it is. And save it. I know what dreams are and I know the difference between them and ones that mean something. Believe or don't believe. I still can't figure it out & I wish this whole thing would be concluded already. So those of you who say does anyone care? Yes. I do. I want to know what it means
Angelica
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
moving day
I asked Nick to respond to a CL ad for moving help.
He asked me to read the email he had composed.
This part-
I can lift 100lbs
made me laugh. I said, why don't you tell them you have ant strength and once lifted a car off an 8 month old baby.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
bambino project part 2
50lbs of Hawthorn Bond Missouri fire clay mixed with 24 quarts of Perlite.
This takes a week to dry.
I was really happy with the results so far. Not too heavy, seems like it's thick enough. I just barely had the material to cover the mold.
Friday, July 9, 2010
someone needs help
Is it possible for an olderish dude to go to a foreign city and have some mystery unfold? Like he meets someone who is in trouble??? And only his mad google sleuthing and ability to solve word jumbles at a glance and garage (newspaper stuffed) mail bag kick boxing skills can save her. Cause I would buy a plane ticket for that shit.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
suzhou river
This will start my Mandarin Noir phase.
List:
Suzhou River [x]
Summer Palace [x]
Beijing Bicycle
Beijing Bastards
The World
Unknown Pleasures
Purple Butterfly
Lust, Caution
Friday, July 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
bambino project
Nick: "Are you still looking at brick oven pictures?"
Me: "Yes, I'm still looking at brick oven porn."
I'm starting a new brick oven project.
My own design based on a Pompeii oven with the goal of making it small and portable for ad-hoc pizza parties in the park. I've built two ovens before with basically no knowledge and learned a few things. Now I've spent countless hours researching ovens and perusing forums contemplating what I would create next. I still like my old design and would build it again in heartbeat if I was in a permanent location.
That oven design broke all conventions (600lbs on a wood base using common brick and regular mortar) and still worked great, easily heating up 900 degrees when needed. They were not built to last long though which I never really care about anyway (I WAS RENTING). I don't want an oven to last 20 years either because then you don't get to build a new one.
Basic wire-frame for the oven mold. 26" diameter with a 13" height.
THIS IS ADORABLY SMALL!- HENCE THE NAME.
I like the fact I was just siting around reading oven blogs and just decided "I can make that" and after spending $6 on some wire I'm knee deep 5 hours later.
About 5 coats of plaster later. A few coats more and it will be perfectly round. This will serve as a mold for a fire clay/perlite mixture that will be 2" thick spread over the top. I'm looking for a light oven that will heat up and cool down quickly and be light enough to toss in the back of an SUV.
I always make small pizza's so this should easily fit a 12" or 14" pizza with room for wood or lump charcoal. A typical oven would have about 8-9" thickness for heat retention. That type of oven requires considerable time to heat up the mass but will retain that heat for hours. So, the smaller design will require constant fuel but should reach a good pizza temp in about 40 minutes. I'm also hoping I can keep the weight of just the dome portion around 150lbs (HA!) which would be about 1/3 the typical weight.
Final mold mock-up. This will be covered in plastic wrap and packing tape for the mold release. I'm sure you're saying to yourself "That looks redonkulous", and you're kinda right but it will work. The opening is slightly disproportional to the oven body but that's a factor of the extremely small scale. Trust me, it will work and be gorgeous. I'm going to use simple glazed white tile for the skin if it doesn't weigh too much otherwise I'll go ugly stucco.
The beauty of this design is, I'll have a mold to make as many ovens as I need. Since the ovens are relatively thin and transportable it should not matter that much if you crack one. You would just make another.
Total spent to date: $26 (I'm insanely frugal!).
To do: The mold still needs the opening and vent pipe configured and I will build a basic fire clay/perlite 2" thick platform for it to sit on. This platform will be separate so it transports lighter. I was thinking I could use a loose mixture of clay/sand between the oven and base as a kind simple caulk for when it's moved to a site and set up for for firing.
I'm officially at the 'jonesing' stage to see this thing fired up. It was particularly teasing to see a restaurant supply place with huge bags of lump charcoal sitting in front of their store 2 blocks from my place. I have to wait till Monday
to get to a ceramic supply house for a 50lbs bag of clay. I've seen many formulas for mixing refractory cement but I'm just going to wing it with an over the top perlite mix for lightness and see how it works. I think people go light on the perlite so it has density but I want the opposite.
Me: "Yes, I'm still looking at brick oven porn."
I'm starting a new brick oven project.
My own design based on a Pompeii oven with the goal of making it small and portable for ad-hoc pizza parties in the park. I've built two ovens before with basically no knowledge and learned a few things. Now I've spent countless hours researching ovens and perusing forums contemplating what I would create next. I still like my old design and would build it again in heartbeat if I was in a permanent location.
That oven design broke all conventions (600lbs on a wood base using common brick and regular mortar) and still worked great, easily heating up 900 degrees when needed. They were not built to last long though which I never really care about anyway (I WAS RENTING). I don't want an oven to last 20 years either because then you don't get to build a new one.
Basic wire-frame for the oven mold. 26" diameter with a 13" height.
THIS IS ADORABLY SMALL!- HENCE THE NAME.
I like the fact I was just siting around reading oven blogs and just decided "I can make that" and after spending $6 on some wire I'm knee deep 5 hours later.
About 5 coats of plaster later. A few coats more and it will be perfectly round. This will serve as a mold for a fire clay/perlite mixture that will be 2" thick spread over the top. I'm looking for a light oven that will heat up and cool down quickly and be light enough to toss in the back of an SUV.
I always make small pizza's so this should easily fit a 12" or 14" pizza with room for wood or lump charcoal. A typical oven would have about 8-9" thickness for heat retention. That type of oven requires considerable time to heat up the mass but will retain that heat for hours. So, the smaller design will require constant fuel but should reach a good pizza temp in about 40 minutes. I'm also hoping I can keep the weight of just the dome portion around 150lbs (HA!) which would be about 1/3 the typical weight.
Final mold mock-up. This will be covered in plastic wrap and packing tape for the mold release. I'm sure you're saying to yourself "That looks redonkulous", and you're kinda right but it will work. The opening is slightly disproportional to the oven body but that's a factor of the extremely small scale. Trust me, it will work and be gorgeous. I'm going to use simple glazed white tile for the skin if it doesn't weigh too much otherwise I'll go ugly stucco.
The beauty of this design is, I'll have a mold to make as many ovens as I need. Since the ovens are relatively thin and transportable it should not matter that much if you crack one. You would just make another.
Total spent to date: $26 (I'm insanely frugal!).
To do: The mold still needs the opening and vent pipe configured and I will build a basic fire clay/perlite 2" thick platform for it to sit on. This platform will be separate so it transports lighter. I was thinking I could use a loose mixture of clay/sand between the oven and base as a kind simple caulk for when it's moved to a site and set up for for firing.
I'm officially at the 'jonesing' stage to see this thing fired up. It was particularly teasing to see a restaurant supply place with huge bags of lump charcoal sitting in front of their store 2 blocks from my place. I have to wait till Monday
to get to a ceramic supply house for a 50lbs bag of clay. I've seen many formulas for mixing refractory cement but I'm just going to wing it with an over the top perlite mix for lightness and see how it works. I think people go light on the perlite so it has density but I want the opposite.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
francis bacon
I don't want to avoid telling a story, but I want very, very much to do the thing that Valery said - to give the sensation without the boredom of its conveyance. And the moment the story enters, the boredom comes upon you.
More
More
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
kill the artists
My work borders on a sensibility that transcends contemporary art clichés to include social issues of media influences and psychological hierarchies. I am stimulated by culture, either popular or ethnic. The hybridity of human behavior with the influx of the media has been a constant factor in my work over the years. The formal aspects of my work involve the investigation of form relating to illusion and image in motion. This contributes to how the viewer uses personal experience for image interpretation.
Being an artist I challenge ideals of beauty, normalcy and the voyeuristic desire behind the act of seeing by my combinations of form-based abstractions; attempting to bring self-consciousness to the prestigious power structures in human tastes. I work intuitively, seeking to express my human sensibility to the workings of what surrounds me. Travel, music, pop culture and the Internet provide the research grounds for the incubation period of my work.
Or, you could make things people want to look at.
Being an artist I challenge ideals of beauty, normalcy and the voyeuristic desire behind the act of seeing by my combinations of form-based abstractions; attempting to bring self-consciousness to the prestigious power structures in human tastes. I work intuitively, seeking to express my human sensibility to the workings of what surrounds me. Travel, music, pop culture and the Internet provide the research grounds for the incubation period of my work.
Or, you could make things people want to look at.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
skid row - west madison
In the moth-eaten fringe of Chicago's Loop, TIME Correspondent James Bell encountered a wayfarer.
I found him at the corner of Desplaines and West Madison at 10 o'clock in the morning outside the House of Rothschild bar. His eyes were very red. He wobbled over and grinned a fixed grin. "Mister," he said, unsteadily touching his cap, "I gotta have a shot." He explained that he had just awakened in the alley behind. "I didn't get in no fight last night," he said more or less proudly, and then felt his face to make sure. No marks. No dried blood.
His name, he said, was "Juke." He was a little 125-lb. fellow. His eyes were sunk back in his ash-colored face; there was grime under his eyes and pasted into the wrinkles around his mouth and on his forehead. He wore a shirt that was once white; now it was black and yellow and there was spaghetti sauce over the left breast. His breath had the smell of vomit and cheap booze. Juke was unmistakably one of West Madison Street's citizens.
On Inflation. I bought him a drink, then three more, at Frank's tavern, and he told me how tough things were these days along Skid Row. "It's the inflation," he said, "a guy can't make a living on the bum any more. You gotta have 15 to 20 bucks a week. Used to be you could walk into the Shamrock and lay down 11¢ and the barkeep would pour you two stiff shots of rye. Now it costs you 20¢ a single shot at Frank's or Jack's or the House of All Nations.
"Bay rum is way up, when you can find it. Some of the boys used to swipe quarts of milk and then go to the gas station to beg gasoline for a spike. Milk isn't left on doorsteps any more. It costs 20¢ a quart and the jerks at the gas stations ain't very friendly any more.
"The food situation is just as bad. Used to be you could go into Thompson's and get two eggs, toast and a cup of scalding black coffee for 15¢. Now it costs you 35¢. Two sinkers and a cup of coffee is up from a nickel to 15¢. A plate of beef stew used to sell for a dime: now it costs you 30¢ and it ain't got no meat in it."
On Housing. "The flop houses—same thing. There was a time when you could go into the Workingmen's Palace, the Gem, Starr Hotel, the New Norway or the Portland and get a corner in the dorm for 14 to 20¢. For a quarter you could get a shower, too, and there were lights in the big room. Now you don't find a place to lay down on the floor for less than 30¢ a night and most places charge 40¢.
"Bumming is tough. You just can't go up and ask a man for a dime: he knows you can't get nothin' for a dime any more. Trouble is there are too many jobs offered along Madison Street. The railroads are doing everything except promising vice-presidencies. You can get 84¢an hour with $1.50 a day for board and room, plus transportation from West Madison Street to wherever the gandy-dancing job is. But the railroad employment offices on West Madison Street don't get any more men today than they did before the war when the standard wage was 45¢ an hour."
Juke finished his fourth drink. His eyes were clearer now and he could talk more distinctly.
We walked out of the tavern. Without a word of thanks, Juke walked down the street. The morning was hot and sultry. The wind blew the filth up from the gutters into your face. A workman was painting out the "25" after the "Rooms" sign at the Portland Hotel. I asked him what he was going to paint in its place. "Forty cents," he said.
Time mag 1946
I found him at the corner of Desplaines and West Madison at 10 o'clock in the morning outside the House of Rothschild bar. His eyes were very red. He wobbled over and grinned a fixed grin. "Mister," he said, unsteadily touching his cap, "I gotta have a shot." He explained that he had just awakened in the alley behind. "I didn't get in no fight last night," he said more or less proudly, and then felt his face to make sure. No marks. No dried blood.
His name, he said, was "Juke." He was a little 125-lb. fellow. His eyes were sunk back in his ash-colored face; there was grime under his eyes and pasted into the wrinkles around his mouth and on his forehead. He wore a shirt that was once white; now it was black and yellow and there was spaghetti sauce over the left breast. His breath had the smell of vomit and cheap booze. Juke was unmistakably one of West Madison Street's citizens.
On Inflation. I bought him a drink, then three more, at Frank's tavern, and he told me how tough things were these days along Skid Row. "It's the inflation," he said, "a guy can't make a living on the bum any more. You gotta have 15 to 20 bucks a week. Used to be you could walk into the Shamrock and lay down 11¢ and the barkeep would pour you two stiff shots of rye. Now it costs you 20¢ a single shot at Frank's or Jack's or the House of All Nations.
"Bay rum is way up, when you can find it. Some of the boys used to swipe quarts of milk and then go to the gas station to beg gasoline for a spike. Milk isn't left on doorsteps any more. It costs 20¢ a quart and the jerks at the gas stations ain't very friendly any more.
"The food situation is just as bad. Used to be you could go into Thompson's and get two eggs, toast and a cup of scalding black coffee for 15¢. Now it costs you 35¢. Two sinkers and a cup of coffee is up from a nickel to 15¢. A plate of beef stew used to sell for a dime: now it costs you 30¢ and it ain't got no meat in it."
On Housing. "The flop houses—same thing. There was a time when you could go into the Workingmen's Palace, the Gem, Starr Hotel, the New Norway or the Portland and get a corner in the dorm for 14 to 20¢. For a quarter you could get a shower, too, and there were lights in the big room. Now you don't find a place to lay down on the floor for less than 30¢ a night and most places charge 40¢.
"Bumming is tough. You just can't go up and ask a man for a dime: he knows you can't get nothin' for a dime any more. Trouble is there are too many jobs offered along Madison Street. The railroads are doing everything except promising vice-presidencies. You can get 84¢an hour with $1.50 a day for board and room, plus transportation from West Madison Street to wherever the gandy-dancing job is. But the railroad employment offices on West Madison Street don't get any more men today than they did before the war when the standard wage was 45¢ an hour."
Juke finished his fourth drink. His eyes were clearer now and he could talk more distinctly.
We walked out of the tavern. Without a word of thanks, Juke walked down the street. The morning was hot and sultry. The wind blew the filth up from the gutters into your face. A workman was painting out the "25" after the "Rooms" sign at the Portland Hotel. I asked him what he was going to paint in its place. "Forty cents," he said.
Time mag 1946
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
sketchy
dawn
i was mostly kidding
there are some cool looking spaces west of you though
wish it wasn't so sketchy at night
Me
it's sketchy all day west of western
dawn.ryan
yes, but west of western day time i can see when shit is coming my way
whether i can do something about or not ... different story
Me
you are only safe wearing the garbage can costume
the dice costume won't work
dawn
i think cylindrical is a better look for me anyhow
i was mostly kidding
there are some cool looking spaces west of you though
wish it wasn't so sketchy at night
Me
it's sketchy all day west of western
dawn.ryan
yes, but west of western day time i can see when shit is coming my way
whether i can do something about or not ... different story
Me
you are only safe wearing the garbage can costume
the dice costume won't work
dawn
i think cylindrical is a better look for me anyhow
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
extremity alert
Last night I did that thing where you roll over in your sleep and crush your arm for an hour or so. I was DEEP into some rem's and then suddenly popped awake for an extremity check.
Sure enough, I had lost all feeling in my arm. So, I picked it up and laid it across my stomach and waited for some blood to flow back in. It appears my limb checking algo's are all functioning correctly and no adjustments are needed. I'll run a scan later today just to be sure.
Sure enough, I had lost all feeling in my arm. So, I picked it up and laid it across my stomach and waited for some blood to flow back in. It appears my limb checking algo's are all functioning correctly and no adjustments are needed. I'll run a scan later today just to be sure.
Monday, March 15, 2010
bookshelves
There's something about holding a new book in your hands that I don't think will ever be replaced. You also lose the ability to make quality snap judgments on people via a cursory glance at their shelves. Whenever I do an artist walk I like to snoop two things- the kitchen spice rack and the bookshelves. That tells me all I need to know.
from
Sunday, March 14, 2010
hipster tea party
Possibly the most annoying fashion shoot ever.
warning- includes photos of men knitting and cutting cheese with pocket knives.
People who wear fingerless gloves indoors and are not counting money in a meat locker should be dragged through the streets by a bike messenger.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
vlad
bulgarian dude: can you do tracert and email the results.
me: why can't you do a tracert?
bulgarian dude: I'm in my car right now.
me: can't you do a car tracert?
bulgarian dude: ... ... ...
bulgarian dude: ha
bulgarian dude: for a minute there I was confused.
me: why can't you do a tracert?
bulgarian dude: I'm in my car right now.
me: can't you do a car tracert?
bulgarian dude: ... ... ...
bulgarian dude: ha
bulgarian dude: for a minute there I was confused.
space odyssey - persephonic
I talked to a dude today. He didn't really have a card for a manager or anyone and said the place is run pretty casual. He said come by in the morning and there would be a gm(?) around. I said- "you guys are slow on the weekends, right?"- and he's like," we are closed on the weekend". I said, "I'd like to throw a party here on the weekend when it's closed". And he looked around and said "that would be good".
I still really really like the idea of this spring earth mother goddess 'Persephone' with strings coming out her hands and they attach to baby collars (there's such a thing) and the babies are suspended from kites and it's all rolling fields and clouds and butterflies but, I used to get high a lot and my judgement is sketchy.
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Sunday, March 7, 2010
toasters
I will state what I thought was obvious: I need to make "calls" to
thousands of machines to do something. I want to minimize the overhead
both of making the call and the machines sending back the responses.
Maybe you could start off a little bit further back into the problem
today. Like, "I got up this morning, and I thought, 'I would like some
toast.', but I don't know how to make toast, so I wanted to design a
100,000 node parallel neural network to develop a receipie for toast."
Perhaps then someone on this list could relate their toast development
experiences, such as "using a TCP-based tree topology similar to IRC
servers has been sufficient in my experience for toast-oriented data
exchange although I have been using a parallelized coordinated genetic
algorithm rather than a neural network to develop an optimal
crunch/warmth experience", or possibly "ToastVortex, my Twisted-basted
toast application server is available at
http://toastvortex.example.com/" or better yet, "buy a toaster and put
some bread in it".
thousands of machines to do something. I want to minimize the overhead
both of making the call and the machines sending back the responses.
Maybe you could start off a little bit further back into the problem
today. Like, "I got up this morning, and I thought, 'I would like some
toast.', but I don't know how to make toast, so I wanted to design a
100,000 node parallel neural network to develop a receipie for toast."
Perhaps then someone on this list could relate their toast development
experiences, such as "using a TCP-based tree topology similar to IRC
servers has been sufficient in my experience for toast-oriented data
exchange although I have been using a parallelized coordinated genetic
algorithm rather than a neural network to develop an optimal
crunch/warmth experience", or possibly "ToastVortex, my Twisted-basted
toast application server is available at
http://toastvortex.example.com/" or better yet, "buy a toaster and put
some bread in it".
Friday, March 5, 2010
am I annoying yet
Random IM's/emails I've sent to the same person...
me [10:17 AM]:
hey
them [10:17 AM]:
yo
me [10:17 AM]:
for the spring-
I was thinking of starting an MST dance crew
them [10:17 AM]:
bah haha
me [10:18 AM]:
it would be me, Ivan and Kelso and then you
them [10:18 AM]:
haha what would this entail
me [10:18 AM]:
that image kills me
we would basically toss you around a lot
them [10:18 AM]:
ummm
APPEARANCE, DRESS AND GROOMING STANDARDS (a message from HR)
me:
Nevermind that part where I said let’s wear the matching bib-overalls tomorrow.
them:
it's a shame cause I had the perfect Birkenstocks.
Five days later...
me:
I was going to suggest we wear the matching jumpers today but, mine is still wrinkled from last Friday.
me [10:17 AM]:
hey
them [10:17 AM]:
yo
me [10:17 AM]:
for the spring-
I was thinking of starting an MST dance crew
them [10:17 AM]:
bah haha
me [10:18 AM]:
it would be me, Ivan and Kelso and then you
them [10:18 AM]:
haha what would this entail
me [10:18 AM]:
that image kills me
we would basically toss you around a lot
them [10:18 AM]:
ummm
APPEARANCE, DRESS AND GROOMING STANDARDS (a message from HR)
me:
Nevermind that part where I said let’s wear the matching bib-overalls tomorrow.
them:
it's a shame cause I had the perfect Birkenstocks.
Five days later...
me:
I was going to suggest we wear the matching jumpers today but, mine is still wrinkled from last Friday.
Monday, February 22, 2010
patti smith - book signing at the harold washington
I was a little late by about 800 people.
She was the sweetest looking person ever and the crowd was fascinating.
I was just returning books and was like 'who are all these rockers?'.
The group (woman and two gents) in front of me in line had an English/NYC rocker look and it becomes apparent to me this tiny dude with them is staring at me. So, you look and confirm yes- I'm being stared at.
And then you have to consciously not acknowledge back the stare or it gets uncomfortable as you occupy the same 5 ft of waiting in line space for the next half hour. So, I was projecting this "I am not returning your 'gaze', I'm just waiting in line and looking forward as per the standard line protocol as you stand sideways and keep eyeballing me" vibe.
A girl getting her book signed offers Patti a pin with red feathers and she instantly puts it on her lapel. My work camera fails me. She sips some tea from a special ceramic cup with it's own matching lid. Does she bring this? Everyone gets the nicest smile no matter how many items they want signed. She asks someone else if he made his own fingerless gloves (I know this dude from 20 years ago at Exit nightclub). He says yes and floats away but then I see him back in line again. For what I don't know. More Patti I presume. I bought the pre-autographed book. Her signature, not something I would really attribute to her. It's fantastic. I don't see her name in there anywhere and it's hard to tell a human did it. When I bring it home, Nick and I turn the book sideways and angled to see the signature in some kind of perspective that makes sense. I look at the cover and see it has a weird smerge imprint of some machine. I realize this autographed book is probably worthless. I don't care much. I saw Patti Smith.
Friday, January 29, 2010
us mens soccer - charlie davies
"Today, Davies looks very much like he did before the accident. The swelling in his face that was so evident during his interview with ESPN last November has subsided, though a shorter haircut reveals the scar he has from ear to ear arcing over the top of his skull. That scar came after doctors peeled his face off down to his chin in order to repair the multiple fractures that left his facial bones a shattered mess."
Ugh- that's going to be a hard visual to replace.
Ugh- that's going to be a hard visual to replace.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
social media specialist
o 2:52 pm January 13, 2010
o Kathleen Manning wrote:
You can find a response to this study on the Monsanto Blog as well. The language is a bit easier to read than the link above.
http://blog.monsantoblog.com/2010/01/12/monsanto-addresses-study/
o 7:50 pm January 13, 2010
o Fred Barberra wrote:
I’m eating Frito Lay corn chips right now. They are a staple in my diet. Do I stop? Who makes good non GM corn chips? Any suggestions? I’d like to live awhile longer.
o 10:38 pm January 13, 2010
o Marvin wrote:
The real question is will Monsanto be held accountable for the effects of frankenfoods after they rammed genetically modified organisms through the regulatory process with large donations and lobbying?
o 4:31 am January 14, 2010
o Bill wrote:
Kathleen Manning’s a PR person for Monsanto by the way. Case you were wondering. Here’s how GM crops are regulated http://bit.ly/OCkSw
o 2:04 pm January 14, 2010
o Kathleen Manning wrote:
Thank you Bill, I must have been typing so fast I failed to disclose! Yes, I work for Monsanto Company.
o 4:43 pm January 14, 2010
o Hugg-A-Planet wrote:
GMO is just a fraction of what is going on:
Seed patent laws, forced upon countries by WTO rules, are not the only way in which the resources of the Third World poor are being stolen to generate profits for giant corporations.
http://www.mindfully.org/WTO/Stolen-Harvest-Intro.htm
Here is a expert on this- Vandana Shiva is a world-renowned environmental thinker and activist. A leader in the International Forum on Globalization along with Ralph Nader and Jeremy Rifkin, Shiva won the Alternative Nobel Peace Prize (the Right Livelihood Award) in 1993. Director of the Research Foundation for Science, Technology, and Natural Resource Policy, she is the author of many books, including Biopiracy: The Plunder of nature and knowledge (South End Press, 1997), Monocultures of the Mind (Zed, 1993), The Violence of the Green Revolution (Zed, 1992), and Staying Alive ( St. Martin’s Press, 1989). Before becoming an activist, Shiva was one of India’s leading physicists.
o 5:59 pm January 14, 2010
o JasonM wrote:
Kathleen, how can you go to work everyday defending a company that manipulates authorities with fake science to get a product that’s controversial at the very least on market. The dangers of GMOs are finally being recognized and the end to Monsanto is near. Millions Against Monsanto!
o 1:13 am January 16, 2010
o Dave wrote:
Kathleen,
Would you, or do you give your loved ones GM food?
Can you look in the mirror, and be truly honest, and feel good about
your work? If you feel morally compromised, I am sure
there are other ways to earn money that are at least
as honest as what you do now.
o Kathleen Manning wrote:
You can find a response to this study on the Monsanto Blog as well. The language is a bit easier to read than the link above.
http://blog.monsantoblog.com/2010/01/12/monsanto-addresses-study/
o 7:50 pm January 13, 2010
o Fred Barberra wrote:
I’m eating Frito Lay corn chips right now. They are a staple in my diet. Do I stop? Who makes good non GM corn chips? Any suggestions? I’d like to live awhile longer.
o 10:38 pm January 13, 2010
o Marvin wrote:
The real question is will Monsanto be held accountable for the effects of frankenfoods after they rammed genetically modified organisms through the regulatory process with large donations and lobbying?
o 4:31 am January 14, 2010
o Bill wrote:
Kathleen Manning’s a PR person for Monsanto by the way. Case you were wondering. Here’s how GM crops are regulated http://bit.ly/OCkSw
o 2:04 pm January 14, 2010
o Kathleen Manning wrote:
Thank you Bill, I must have been typing so fast I failed to disclose! Yes, I work for Monsanto Company.
o 4:43 pm January 14, 2010
o Hugg-A-Planet wrote:
GMO is just a fraction of what is going on:
Seed patent laws, forced upon countries by WTO rules, are not the only way in which the resources of the Third World poor are being stolen to generate profits for giant corporations.
http://www.mindfully.org/WTO/Stolen-Harvest-Intro.htm
Here is a expert on this- Vandana Shiva is a world-renowned environmental thinker and activist. A leader in the International Forum on Globalization along with Ralph Nader and Jeremy Rifkin, Shiva won the Alternative Nobel Peace Prize (the Right Livelihood Award) in 1993. Director of the Research Foundation for Science, Technology, and Natural Resource Policy, she is the author of many books, including Biopiracy: The Plunder of nature and knowledge (South End Press, 1997), Monocultures of the Mind (Zed, 1993), The Violence of the Green Revolution (Zed, 1992), and Staying Alive ( St. Martin’s Press, 1989). Before becoming an activist, Shiva was one of India’s leading physicists.
o 5:59 pm January 14, 2010
o JasonM wrote:
Kathleen, how can you go to work everyday defending a company that manipulates authorities with fake science to get a product that’s controversial at the very least on market. The dangers of GMOs are finally being recognized and the end to Monsanto is near. Millions Against Monsanto!
o 1:13 am January 16, 2010
o Dave wrote:
Kathleen,
Would you, or do you give your loved ones GM food?
Can you look in the mirror, and be truly honest, and feel good about
your work? If you feel morally compromised, I am sure
there are other ways to earn money that are at least
as honest as what you do now.
Monday, January 11, 2010
thunderbolt ski run
Eileen:
thunderboltskirunners
Course Record: 2 min. 8 sec., set by Per Klippgen in
the 1948 Eastern Downhill Championship Race.
I'll be stopping by the Salvation Army this week if you need me to pick up some ski's and bindings.
I prefer to set the record in pre 1950's equipment under $20.
This is the hotel I would want to stay at: Porches
Follow up:
I think we can use the kids as sherpas so, don't worry that the old ski's and boot's are heavy.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
molls and zoe
Molls will sleep right next you with her head on a pillow.
Um, no Zoe, I was not thinking about disappearing you.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Rachel Sherman
Last Will (via vice)
1) Please throw away my soap. It is gross to wash with the soap of a dead girl.
2) Please go through my files. The files are filled with dirt–real dirt–because that plant fell from the hook above the window and into them. I did not clean them, but there is probably something I forgot about. Probably something important.
3) If you really miss me, sew my clothes into pillowcases. If you really care, hold them at night. Sleep on their stomach. Pretend to keep me warm.
4) I have toenails clippings next to my bed that I might not have cleaned up. Before they come, please vacuum. I hate to think that in the end the room would be only dead parts of me.
5) Please erase any attempts at poems I might have written.
Please do this quickly.
6) I was expecting to get all of my mother’s jewelry when she died. She only gave me half-sets, so that I would be nice to her until she died. Please give them back to her. Tell her I would have loved her anyway.
7) I don’t like music, so don’t bother looking for lyrics or free CDs. Turn off whatever talk radio might be on.
8.) Throw away my underwear—quickly.
9) Take my eyes. But make sure to give them to a child–I have small eyes. (An anti-semite once told me they were beady).
10) If you really miss me, there are many pictures of when I was a child in a blue box on the bookshelf. Also: pictures of my immediate family before we fell apart. You might want to frame these, then send them to my father’s new wife. You might enclose a note, pointing out how happy we looked.
11) My wedding dress is in the closet but it is ripped and dirty since the ground was muddy and our wedding was in a field and cold. On our wedding day you forgot to tell me I looked beautiful, but your father did, which somehow mattered. No one wants to get married in a dead girls’ wedding dress.
12) You can use my hair for the heads of children’s dolls.
13) You might want to give my nose a nose job first. Then give it to a girl.
14) Please give someone with a flat ass my own.
15) If you want to take my teeth, that’s fine. I have only had three
cavities. Ever.
16) I have very nice feet. I say so myself. Give them to my grandmother.
17) Please live my lips be.
18) My uterus: it is clean and unused if someone wants to fill it up, I would be honored. I have a feeling it is warm inside.
19) There is that big birthmark on my leg, but my leg bones are fine. No part of me has ever been broken.
The birthmark can be removed, they say. You might leave it, though. It might be a good reminder to someone.
20) Give my tits to someone young. They are pre-teen size. Tell them they might want to sleep with a bra on, though, since they are actually older.
21) Please don’t leave my brain inside me. I don’t like the idea of being alone.
Give it to science; find out if they can actually “see” what went wrong. Have them go at it with experiments. Check if there is a gene.
22) I have decent fingernails. You might want to take them and make some kind of wind chime. If you want to know what I am talking about, there is that wind chime in the backyard. It is not made of fingernails, but you get the idea.
My mother was into wind chimes for a while, so give her that in a box with the jewelry.
23) Don’t worry about my elbows.
24) My calves are not the muscular kind. I had thought they were the nice, actually, until you said ‘no.’ I know: you like the kind where you can see that someone came from farm-working people; where you can tell that someone’s people worked the land back in Russia. But I have the delicate kind. (My people must have just sat in chairs.)
25) If you want to keep me around in a practical way, I don’t mind if you make my skin into a lampshade. Really. I’ll understand.
26) If you are sick of me just put my skin under the rug so it won’t slip. These things are important. Each time you don’t fall you might think of what’s holding you.
27) Kitchen utensils: donate.
28) Our dirty cat. (I try to cheer her on each time I see her licking herself…). If you keep her, you might want to try the same. Otherwise, I’m not opposed to euthanasia. I have done it before, to another cat, who didn’t seem to mind.
29) Please relay the following to the appropriate parties:
a. Dad-
I want you to know that I wasn’t mad that you had an affair with your Jamaican co-worker because she was Jamaican. It was the Born-again Christian thing that bothered me.
b. Mom -
I want you to know that I wasn’t as much of a slut that you might have thought I was. I know I made it sound like I had a lot of sex sometimes, but really, it was mostly in college. Also, your buying me all that sexy underwear–not sure what to say about that. Thank you?
No. Look what you did.
c. Brother-
I’m sorry I used to call you a Tele-tubby. I realize it was not your fault that you were fat when you were a teenager, and I know now that you were trying to get laid, even though it seemed like you were just being a neuter.
d. You:
You can separate me into pieces and place me all around the world.
You can keep me in the shape of a girl or take me apart.
You can leave me be. These are all just suggestions. I am all yours.
1) Please throw away my soap. It is gross to wash with the soap of a dead girl.
2) Please go through my files. The files are filled with dirt–real dirt–because that plant fell from the hook above the window and into them. I did not clean them, but there is probably something I forgot about. Probably something important.
3) If you really miss me, sew my clothes into pillowcases. If you really care, hold them at night. Sleep on their stomach. Pretend to keep me warm.
4) I have toenails clippings next to my bed that I might not have cleaned up. Before they come, please vacuum. I hate to think that in the end the room would be only dead parts of me.
5) Please erase any attempts at poems I might have written.
Please do this quickly.
6) I was expecting to get all of my mother’s jewelry when she died. She only gave me half-sets, so that I would be nice to her until she died. Please give them back to her. Tell her I would have loved her anyway.
7) I don’t like music, so don’t bother looking for lyrics or free CDs. Turn off whatever talk radio might be on.
8.) Throw away my underwear—quickly.
9) Take my eyes. But make sure to give them to a child–I have small eyes. (An anti-semite once told me they were beady).
10) If you really miss me, there are many pictures of when I was a child in a blue box on the bookshelf. Also: pictures of my immediate family before we fell apart. You might want to frame these, then send them to my father’s new wife. You might enclose a note, pointing out how happy we looked.
11) My wedding dress is in the closet but it is ripped and dirty since the ground was muddy and our wedding was in a field and cold. On our wedding day you forgot to tell me I looked beautiful, but your father did, which somehow mattered. No one wants to get married in a dead girls’ wedding dress.
12) You can use my hair for the heads of children’s dolls.
13) You might want to give my nose a nose job first. Then give it to a girl.
14) Please give someone with a flat ass my own.
15) If you want to take my teeth, that’s fine. I have only had three
cavities. Ever.
16) I have very nice feet. I say so myself. Give them to my grandmother.
17) Please live my lips be.
18) My uterus: it is clean and unused if someone wants to fill it up, I would be honored. I have a feeling it is warm inside.
19) There is that big birthmark on my leg, but my leg bones are fine. No part of me has ever been broken.
The birthmark can be removed, they say. You might leave it, though. It might be a good reminder to someone.
20) Give my tits to someone young. They are pre-teen size. Tell them they might want to sleep with a bra on, though, since they are actually older.
21) Please don’t leave my brain inside me. I don’t like the idea of being alone.
Give it to science; find out if they can actually “see” what went wrong. Have them go at it with experiments. Check if there is a gene.
22) I have decent fingernails. You might want to take them and make some kind of wind chime. If you want to know what I am talking about, there is that wind chime in the backyard. It is not made of fingernails, but you get the idea.
My mother was into wind chimes for a while, so give her that in a box with the jewelry.
23) Don’t worry about my elbows.
24) My calves are not the muscular kind. I had thought they were the nice, actually, until you said ‘no.’ I know: you like the kind where you can see that someone came from farm-working people; where you can tell that someone’s people worked the land back in Russia. But I have the delicate kind. (My people must have just sat in chairs.)
25) If you want to keep me around in a practical way, I don’t mind if you make my skin into a lampshade. Really. I’ll understand.
26) If you are sick of me just put my skin under the rug so it won’t slip. These things are important. Each time you don’t fall you might think of what’s holding you.
27) Kitchen utensils: donate.
28) Our dirty cat. (I try to cheer her on each time I see her licking herself…). If you keep her, you might want to try the same. Otherwise, I’m not opposed to euthanasia. I have done it before, to another cat, who didn’t seem to mind.
29) Please relay the following to the appropriate parties:
a. Dad-
I want you to know that I wasn’t mad that you had an affair with your Jamaican co-worker because she was Jamaican. It was the Born-again Christian thing that bothered me.
b. Mom -
I want you to know that I wasn’t as much of a slut that you might have thought I was. I know I made it sound like I had a lot of sex sometimes, but really, it was mostly in college. Also, your buying me all that sexy underwear–not sure what to say about that. Thank you?
No. Look what you did.
c. Brother-
I’m sorry I used to call you a Tele-tubby. I realize it was not your fault that you were fat when you were a teenager, and I know now that you were trying to get laid, even though it seemed like you were just being a neuter.
d. You:
You can separate me into pieces and place me all around the world.
You can keep me in the shape of a girl or take me apart.
You can leave me be. These are all just suggestions. I am all yours.
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