notes from a grocery store

Sometimes, you can really fall for that person in line ahead of you.
Until you realize she's buying Edy's Dibs and a 'buttery' mash potato mix (honey-you can't make mashed potatoes, and you really eat Dib's?).
Then you look down at your purchases- A 750ml bottle of Vodka, a pint of no-pulp OJ, two liters of tonic, a pack of smokes and some chicken wings. Then you realize- umm, you're no prize yourself.

I drink your milkshake

There's much bravado in poker- but, this takes the cake...
zidaane: roll up in your sleeping bags and let the bear feed.

nuff said... (course I won- how can you not win when you spout shit that good)

Sometimes- I really understand poker on another level. And I just know I'll win.
It's like I'm playing with three year olds. Other times, I'm fuzzy and make anxious mistsakes and it's like I'm a tourist in New York- wondering who's gonna jack me.
Cause, I know I'm gonna get jacked. Thats what I love about poker- sometimes you're the wolf and othertimes you're the sheep. It's like life lessons with money.

and YOU WHERE THERE:
jigp1015: OUCHHH
zidaane: ace rag ha
jigp1015: lol
zidaane: play that in the free tourney
jigp1015: nha its coo let him play that in here
zidaane: my jibbity transcribers broke
zidaane: but- yeah- anyone else play that
jigp1015: wats a jibbity transcriber?

big hair

it only pains me because I had no-one at his age to tell me the robert plant hair was a no go

notes from a grocery store

If you have 'boy band' hair, and aren't actually in a 'boy band' and are in fact, maybe to old to be in a 'boy band'- you look fucking rediculous.
If- you are in fact - in a 'boy band'. "Hey- I saw you at the Dominicks!".

nuff said...

whiskey dens

When I got off my elevator, the hallway had this sweat vanilla bean coco butter tanned ass smell. I was thinking to myself- "boy- that's pleasant"- untill I got closer to my door, and wondered if the rotting dog ear, ashtray strewn whiskey den odor of my place may have seeped into the hallway and others would notice?
Oh dear...

nikes

My mom needs to get into an Ovarian cancer clinical trial but, her doctor thinks she may not be fit enough to be accepted.

Phone call 9AM:
Me- "When you show up for your first appointement... you should wear a tracksuit."
"With a headband..."
"And some brand new Nikes..."
Mom- "Yeah, and about three cups of coffee."
Me- "And a tennis racket slung over your shoulder."
Mom- (dryly) "Yeah, Yeah, that should work."

your momma got hip

"I'm gonna dig you on a scooby doo" is my new favorite phrase.